Tuesday, January 6, 2009

How Many Eggs Does One Have To Eat To Be Labeled A Glutton?



So we're watching the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Vikings on Sunday at John Smith's house and we were getting on their son's case about a meal he had a few weeks ago. OK. First - what would you consider to be an amount of fried eggs and slices of bread that would cause you to say, "What the hell!! Are you kidding me?"

OK. Hold onto you plates. Here it comes....

My man had 10 fried eggs and a half a loaf of bread for breakfast! What??????

He's not obese. Yet. If I were one of those carnival workers that guesses weight and height, I'd say he's about 175 pounds and 5' 6". And his build is stocky/muscular. And he's about 22 years old.

Is it just me or is this ridiculous? And the let me know if you have any nickname ideas. So far, the tops ones are Eggy, Eggs and my favorite Huevos Diez.

35 comments:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

What??? 10 eggs and a half a loaf of bread??? Wow.
Ya, but he's 22 years old. He's got about 5 more years until that starts catching up with him. God bless him.
How about Huevos Muchacho or just plain Rooster.

Chemgeek said...

I would do stuff like that 15 years ago too. I never gained weight. When I hit 30, I started to notice lvoe handles et. al..

Jennifer and Sandi said...

El's Loco I Tell Ya!! LOCO! Half a loaf of bread in your belly?? Forget the carton of eggs, a half a loaf of BREAD????

Martes Feliz!!!

- Jennifer

Doc said...

When he can eat fifty hard boiled eggs call him Cool Hand Luke. Until then, I'd go with Cholesterol King.

Doc

katrocket said...

Wow. Is he an athlete or something? I hear they eat a lot of eggs. And sometimes cock.

My nickname idea:
Eggmilio Eggstevez

Dr Zibbs said...

Kat - is he an athlete? If laying on the couch and making out with his girlfriend is a sport then yes - he's an athlete.

Tova Darling said...

10???? Holy crap! That's a lot of cholesterol.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Jesus Christ. I hate eggs, but I'd say more than three is more than necessary for breaking my fast.

I'd call him Egglebert Dumperdink.

Csquaredplus3 said...

That sounds like too much food to me, even for his height and weight. He'll be weighing more than 175 soon if he keeps eating like that - or have a heart attack. I'm thinkin' the "glutton" label might be appropriate here...

saratogajean said...

holy shit I vote for Eggmilio Eggstevez.

Too funny, katrocket.

Gwen said...

Give his more than healthy appetites for food and women, I'd sing "I'm King Henry the 8th, I am. King Henry the 8th I am, I am!" every time I saw him.

But I have to vote for Eggsmilio Eggstavez. Katrocket nailed it.

Chele said...

holy smokes, ten fried eggs!!
thats even disgusting, I have 2 fried each day and that is more than enough for me.
thats is so unhealthy. Because of the fried eggs I would probably end up nicknaming him Sunny side up

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I'm gonna go for Humpty as the nickname for this kid. If he keeps eating like that he's headed for a big fall.

Scope said...

3 is fine. 4 is a lot. Over 6 is gluttony. And I'm guessing it was Wonder bread, too.

Let's see, he's a tad old for "Ova-teen", but how about, "One Basket" or "Basket" because that where you put all your eggs.

But more importantly, why did he stop at 10? Was he sated? Did they run out of eggs? Did his girlfriend have the other two? If he left 2 in the carton, then he should live his remaining days in shame for not finishing off an even dozen.

Not that he will have remaining days, mind you...

And any bacon? Everything is better with bacon. Hey, that would be a great blog name! ;-)

B.E. Earl said...

I love eggs just as much as anyone. 3 eggs is plenty. Only 22, eh? Looks like the yolks on him. Ba dum dum.

Philly said...

I'd be farting away with that many eggs in me at one time.

#1

Christine Lucas said...

Ask him if he had a hangover. Mmmmm. Greasy food. As for a nickname, how about "Bad Eggsample."

moooooog35 said...

If he didn't wash it all down with a stick of melted butter, you should nickname him "half ass."

Seriously, if you're do that shit, do it right.

Here are mine:

"The Mighty Lipitor"

"Cloggy McVeins"

"Shelldon"

"Rosie O'Donnell"

sista #2 said...

He is a pig.


That many eggs grosses me out.


Call him doughboy.

peace
#2

Cora said...

Arg! I was gonna say Cool Hand Luke but I see Doc beat me to it. Dammit.

So, I'm just going to have to call him Easter.

Gwen said...

@ mooooooog: ""Rosie O'Donnell" - LMAO!

Morgan the Muse said...

My father ate a dozen eggs once, and was sick the rest of the day. I do not know how anyone could even think that many eggs even look appealing.

I like Huevos Diez, myself.

Big Ham said...

Why stop at 10? He should go for this... http://www.neatorama.com/2006/03/16/awesome-egg-city-art/

Gage said...

Call him Yolk Guts.

Giggle Pixie said...

Christ on a bike! That boy is well on his way to becoming the poster boy for male heart attack before you reach 30!!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Having 5 brothers, I know big appetites...but 10 eggs and a 1/2 loaf is pushing the limit. I'd say 5 eggs and 5 pieces of toast is where gluttony starts.

My nickname for him would be... Yolko Kill Yourself.

Chris said...

I don't know the omelet to fried egg conversion rate, but I limit myself to 6 eggs for one omelet, so yeah, he's rather excessive.

I vote for Kat's Eggmillio!

Divine Chaos said...

Holy shit, 10 eggs? Isn't that a bit eggstreme? sheesh.

I'm likin' Huevos Diez for the name.

Irish Chicken Soup said...

That reminds me of my brother. He's about 5'8'' and rail thin but he'll sit there and eat three country fried steaks with an order of fries and half a gallon of soda.

I gain 5 lbs. just from watching that boy eat.

trogblog said...

I'm with scope on this one, over 6 eggs bad news.

I'm going to go with the combination of Ten and Eggs and say you should nickname him Tegs.

words words words said...

I think eggs are one of those foods that you can just keep eating and eating, like wings or chips. But half a loaf of bread? DAMN.

And call him Grand Slam. That's a Denny's-sized breakfast.

Michelle said...

22 year old, 10 eggs???? That sounds just about right to me!!!

Half a loaf of bread??? Thats amateurish!!!

Love
Stalker

URBAN BLONDE said...

I'd call him "Dead by 40".

Fancy Schmancy said...

Your readers are eggstremely amusing!

I could see my boy doing something like that during football season when he's a bottomless pit of calorie burning, but 10 is eggsessive unless you're Michael Phelps.

~E said...

Never mind the weight thing, I'm surprised he hasn't had a coronary from all the cholesterol he ingests... I can barely waddle myself out of the kitchen after eating two eggs. Ten eggs would leave me comatose.