Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My Dad Would Not Put Up With This 1972 Peter Pan Peanut Butter Nonsense

Here's what would have happened if the Peter Pan Peanut Butter "Man" came through our window in 1972 if my Dad got wind of it*. First watch the commercial:



(my dad walking into the kitchen)

Dad: What the hell is going on?!!

Peter Pan: (all flamboyant and excited) Peter Pan is the peanut butter eaters peanut....

Dad: Hit the breaks! Time out! What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?

Mom: Jim, he wants to know if we're the peanut butter...

Dad: Sally I'll handle this! (pins Peter Pan against the wall. Pan's hat falls to the floor. Eyes are watery. He's terrified) I'm not going to to ask you this again. What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?

Peter Pan: ..uh..uh...(gulps) I bring the peanut beaters butter eater....

Dad: Listen Tinkerbell, get the marbles out of your mouth and.....

(Peter Pan faints)
Mom: Jim you killed him!

Dad: Sally, I didn't touch him! That's it. Get me the number of West Whiteland Township. I don't pay taxes to have a Peanut Butter man coming in my window......
And it goes on from there.....

*If anyone wants to fund this and make it into a play, please contact me privately.

26 comments:

Cora said...

Yep, my house too. Hee hee. So, what would your Dad do to Lucky the Leprechaun, Count Chocula, and Ronald McDonald?! Inquiring minds wanna know.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Wow! I'm actually embarrassed that I grew up in the 70's!

And your dad ROCKS! Mine would just sic the dog on PP.

Cowguy said...

Heh... I remember that commercial. Pan was a regular on Laugh In. Didja hear that knife rattle on that glass jar?

Yeah, there woulda been bloodshed in my Dad's kitchen too. Quite a bit.

LegalMist said...

Hilarious! I love your posts about those '70's commercials. Really brings back memories. Not sure they're entirely *good* memories all the time... (Peter Pan man?!?).... but fun!

Vic said...

Until he turned around I thought that Peter Pan was a young Richard Simmons. Not sure which one would be more disturbing to have climbing through my window...

Dr Zibbs said...

Cora - by Dad wouldn't and still won't put up with any of those clowns. My son always asks me to retell some of the stories of him "putting on the gorilla suit".

I'll have to post some stories.

Vic - good point. And EVERYONE should check out her blog! I just found it and it's great!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Do you think they had peanut butter salmonella outbreaks in the '70s?

BTW, the mom in that commercial totally creeped me out.

Dr Zibbs said...

Always a Bridesmaid - that mom creeps me out too but I try to live by the judge ye lest ye be judge bullshit.

Scope said...

Never would have happen at my house. Dad was smart enough to have SCREENS on the windows to keep the pests out.

Dad shot the neighbor's dog once. We had a ditch out back where old cars and combines were disposed of. The Pan Man would never have bothered good folk again.

And he could of kept the Kirby Vacuum salesmen out there.

Greta said...

Omg. if that guy had come into our kitchen while I was growing up, I'd be a different woman now.

diane said...

Cowguy is right, that's Alan Seuss from Laugh In. He was hysterical!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Kind of like that big container of Kool-Aid bustin through the wall? Scary...or that ginormous Burger King Head?? I think each generation had a commercial of creepiness.

raf said...

As a child I was scared to open the doors of my house..I was afraid I would find someone I didn't know standing there...
Perhaps I've seen a similar commercial that traumatize me..

Belle said...

Makes me want to rush out and buy some....

Siren said...

That Peter Pan is creepy. I don't remember that commerical, but i am sorta glad about that. What I do remember is Peter Pan can fly so he should have flew through the window.

Michael said...

Really funny, Dr Zibbs.

Michael.

J. Hi said...

Aw, come on. He's a pretty, pretty peanut butter princess. He's just trying to make a living people. ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

Michael - I know.

saratogajean said...

Peter Pan PB sucks. Jif is where it's at.

Gwen said...

My dad kept a shotgun by the door for instances just like this.

buffalodick said...

I have a walkout finished basement with a slider to the back door. Once, a teen-ager stoned or drunk knocked on my slider about 1030pm, tells me he's here for the party, and proceeds to try and walk in. Stiffed armed in the chest, he listened while I explained what would happen if he tried it again..

Giggle Pixie said...

My dad would have shot first and asked questions later. lol

Scope said...

Gwen - Protein is protein. You would have been having Peter Pan sandwiches for a month.

Catherinette Singleton said...

Are you saying your dad is a homephobe and that's why he would have treated Peter Pan like that? Because from the commercial, Peter Pan is gay. Very, very gay.

Dr Zibbs said...

Catherine - by saying he's a homophobe would mean that he's AFRAID of gays. Hold on and let me ask him....

...He said he "just doesn't want fags or anyone climbing through the window."

katrocket said...

In your own words - "Dat's a good von."