Friday, January 23, 2009

How To Use Marvin Gaye To Pick Up Girls - Sexual Heeling.


"You're going to help me pick up girls Dr Zibbs?"

Yes I am friend. But I'm not going to tell you how to do it The Pick-up Artist Style. Sorry Mystery. I'm gonna tell you Zibbs style.

Step 1: First of all, you need to be a bit familiar with the song Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye.

Step 2: You need to get two men to play separate characters. Try your local community theater. You'll find many no talents that will jump at the chance of an acting job.

Step 3: Find an attractive lady in a bar. If she's very dumb it will be a snap. If she's not a dummy, you may have to work a bit harder. I didn't say this would be easy did I?

Step 4: While hiding out of sight - maybe behind a potted plant, have actors one and two approach the lady - one actor on either side.

Actor #1: (dressed as weird professor he leans into the lady's face and whispers really loudly) Get up, get up, get up......

Actor #2: (dressed as a longshoreman or lumberjack he leans into the lady's face from the other side and breaths into her ear as creepily as possible) Wake up, Wake up, Wake up........

At this point, you come barreling out from the shadows.

You: Stop! (use the International "stop" motion of holding palm outward) I want you two jerks out of here! PRONTO!

(The actors flee. You coolly sit down next to her - make sure you've showered and you're well groomed).

Bartender: What do you want to drink Mac?

You: I'll take a scotch on the rocks. And for the lady, she'll have some (pause, look at her and cock head).... sexual healing - FROM ME - not from you.

Good luck! And to hear the Sexual Healing song and really get it into your blood, click here.

So that's my Friday send off song. And the shout out this week goes to new readers Belle from Fawty.com, Vic from the blog What Were You Thinking? and Cameron from Get The Stink Off.

Check out their blogs and tell them who sent you. Me. That's who.

21 comments:

Vic said...

If I had a dollar for every time that routine's worked with me.....
except, I don't know, Paul Bunyon's pretty hot (and BIG, did I say big?) - I might just get distracted by the lumberjack.

Thanks for the shout out, Dr. Z! (Consider yourself adored.)

Dr Zibbs said...

Vic - and I - you. Adore that is.

Swedish Chef said...

Is it moist in here or is it just me...

Cameron said...

Zibbs - have you thought about running for president...plenty of Pennsylvanians aspire to great things. The odds are stacked in your favor.

I'm going to go try this pickup technique on my wife(s sister) right now. Wish me luck...and thanks for the shout out.

Erin Alberty said...

"Make sure you're showered and you're well-groomed."

Doc, you're a master of details.

URBAN BLONDE said...

If I read this correctly, the key thing to have when you swoop in to save her is the "cock head".

Jill said...

If only someone had tried that on me...I would have totally caved!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

You should write a book

SkylersDad said...

Thanks for the tip Doc. So far me singing "You've lost that lovin feeling" isn't cutting it!

Giggle Pixie said...

Yep, that works on me. Every time.

diane said...

Zibbs, you are such a weirdo. kiss, kiss.

Cora said...

Can you help me pick up men too, Dr Zibbs?

Please?

J.J. in L.A. said...

I'd cold-cock anyone who tried that on me...I hate that song! lol!

Leonesse said...

Thought this through, did you?



My wv is biles. Interesting.

Michelle said...

Ok this totally made me giggle!!!

I love your sense of humor today!!!

Love
Stlaker

Slyde said...

stop it! you're ruining one of my best pick ups!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Please do a post about what girls should do to pick up men. I don't know that pretending to be Marvin Gaye will work.

Dr Zibbs said...

Michelle - just today?

Slyde - I almost fell off my chair with that comment.

Always a Bridsmaid - I just may do that.

Gwen said...

"Sexual HEELing?"

Really?

HEELing?

Is this some sort of secret foot fetish thing you have that I didn't know about?

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen, I mean "Healing". Damn it!!

Fancy Schmancy said...

I can't tell you how many times that particular bit has worked on me. I never even knew I was being played...