"You're going to help me pick up girls Dr Zibbs?"
Yes I am friend. But I'm not going to tell you how to do it The Pick-up Artist Style. Sorry Mystery. I'm gonna tell you Zibbs style.
Step 1: First of all, you need to be a bit familiar with the song Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye.
Step 2: You need to get two men to play separate characters. Try your local community theater. You'll find many no talents that will jump at the chance of an acting job.
Step 3: Find an attractive lady in a bar. If she's very dumb it will be a snap. If she's not a dummy, you may have to work a bit harder. I didn't say this would be easy did I?
Step 4: While hiding out of sight - maybe behind a potted plant, have actors one and two approach the lady - one actor on either side.
Actor #1: (dressed as weird professor he leans into the lady's face and whispers really loudly) Get up, get up, get up......
Actor #2: (dressed as a longshoreman or lumberjack he leans into the lady's face from the other side and breaths into her ear as creepily as possible) Wake up, Wake up, Wake up........
At this point, you come barreling out from the shadows.
You: Stop! (use the International "stop" motion of holding palm outward) I want you two jerks out of here! PRONTO!
(The actors flee. You coolly sit down next to her - make sure you've showered and you're well groomed).
Bartender: What do you want to drink Mac?
You: I'll take a scotch on the rocks. And for the lady, she'll have some (pause, look at her and cock head).... sexual healing - FROM ME - not from you.
Good luck! And to hear the Sexual Healing song and really get it into your blood, click here.
So that's my Friday send off song. And the shout out this week goes to new readers Belle from Fawty.com, Vic from the blog What Were You Thinking? and Cameron from Get The Stink Off.
Check out their blogs and tell them who sent you. Me. That's who.