Monday, March 16, 2009

Elephant Woman Beauty Secrets. Nice Sack.



You always see the elephant men wearing burlap potato sackish bags to cover their horrifying faces but I can't for the life of me recall ever even seeing an elephant woman.

I wonder if this this ever happens in elephant woman households to help with their self esteem:

Mom: Ellie, how are you feeling today? Any better?

Ellie: I hate school. I feel like a freak.

Mom: Well I got something for you. (Pulls out fabric swatch book and sits on corner of bed). It's a book filled with pretty swatches. I thought we could look through the book and pick out a nice pattern for your burlap sack. Perhaps one with a cherry pattern? That would be cute - don't you think?

Ellie: You're the best mom! (starts to take sack off of head).

Mom: (covers eyes and looks away). ELLIE.THE SACK. PUT THE SACK BACK ON! Thank you.

28 comments:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I was hoping that picture up there was one of those magic eye things with an elephant man image hidden inside.

Imagine my dismay when it wasn't.

However, it was a cool effect when I crossed my eyes and tried to induce the Magic Eye picture to come out.

diane said...

Cruel, Zibbs, very cruel. I think you really are at your best with this kind of humour.

Check out the cool videos I put up on my page, they're odd and fun, you'll like them. :)

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Hahahahhaha a swatch book! You are scaring me coming up with this stuff. Do you sleep at night?

HAPPY MONDAY!!
- Jennifer

Son of a Thomas said...

Jesus!!! This is how you start your day. I think I'm moving further west.

a striver for sanity said...

The only thing funnier than your post were the products that were chosen to be advertised beside them! That being said, I am not so sure young elephant girls would require full head coverage. I believe head sacks to be a more mature necessity, you know like a bra. If I ever need one, I'd like mine to be made of hemp, thank you. A head sack, not a bra, that is.

pinkjellybaby said...

Your mind is odd, isn't it?

moooooog35 said...

I wish they had those when I was in high school.

Banged many an elephant woman without the bag on her head.

Some scary shit right there, my friend.

Slyde said...

THAT was awesome.

awesome!

words words words said...

From mom's reaction, I must assume that she is a normal. So Ellie got the elephant thing from dad. Funny, I thought both parents had to have elephant face for the kids to get it.

sj said...

you live in an odd little world.

Lisa said...

wth? you're just weird my friend. weird I tell ya.

how do you even come up with this shit?

Belle said...

Glad to see you are back to your normal self..

Prunella Jones said...

But half the fun of being a monster is scaring the crap out of people. If I were Ellie I'd rip off my sack while on a bus or train, somewhere where people are packed in together. Then I'd pick one person to stand very close to, staring at them until they freaked. Heh heh. Good times!

SkylersDad said...

Brilliant Zibbs! I look forward to your series on beauty secrets for conjoined twins!!

LYDIA said...

We are back to the conjoined twins?

Burlap potato sacks reminded me of this lovely picture of Jared Leto, which I saw earlier today:

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-search.cgi?blog_id=1&tag=Man%20Fugs&limit=10&IncludeBlogs=1

Yeah, still don't know how to do a link in a comment.... :(

Gwen said...

In Missouri the elephant peeps are forced to wear plastic bags on their heads. Maybe that's why we don't have very many anymore.

WendyB said...

You forgot to include the poignant scene where Ellie says how it's only on Halloween that she can be herself.

Girl Interrupted said...

Tsk! Cherry patterns are soooo 2008!!

Discreet textured weaves and moiré florals are where it's at.

Chele said...

dude I too just stared at this photo for 2 minutes till I realized, its not a magic eye photo.

Cora said...

Why is everyone mentioning the Elephant Man lately. Did I miss a memo on the Elephant Man? I mentioned Wonder Woman, and now *I* feel like a freak!

raf said...

Isn't this pattern a little oldfashion? Then the classmates would laugh at her for using a kitchen tablecloth..

Jeannie said...

You are quite strange.

Dr Zibbs said...

Prunella Jones - your comments are cracking me up!!

And to others - yes, I do have some strangeness on me.

Girl Interrupted said...

FYI: I took the (not so) subtle hint and dropped by for some hot click-action ... the bacon wallet and the muscle-bound, action smurf are ... interesting.

When are you getting links for Jimmy Choos, chocolate sports cars and diamond-encrusted handbags? Cos then I might click more enthusiastically.

Just a suggestion

sista #2 said...

There's a nice little side bizness for ya Zibbszeeeee. Just think of the hordes and hordes of peeps lined up to buy em.

You would be the envy of all elephantee's out.

peace
#2

slopmaster said...

ha, that was cute. I think elephant men also have elephantis, so it has to be a male thing.

Michelle said...

Dr Z your mind just doesn't ever stop does it??

This post really cracked me up!! I just do not like elephant woman.....

HAPPY ST. PADDY'S DAY!!!

Dr Zibbs said...

Michelle - it never, ever stops.