Friday, March 20, 2009

Obama Makes Retarded Comment On Leno. Retard Bowling.

So I guess everyone heard about the comment that Obama made about his bowling last night on Leno. He said his bowling skills were like the Special Olympics.

I knew his feelings about the retarded were going to come out. When I was at the White House a few weeks ago I snuck down to the bowling alley to smoke a bone and look at the sign that Obama had hanging in the alley:

White House Bowling Rules Concerning the Retarded

1) Do not dribble the balls. These are not basketballs. They're meant to be rolled.

2) Actually....no dribbling of any sort.

3) If the ball goes in the gutter and the retard rejoices, explain to him that a gutter ball doesn't count.

4) If a super human retard can read and he or she reads the name of the bowling machinery and asks, "Who's Brunswick?" Tell them Brunswick is a monster that lives behind the pins and will get them if they don't collect their trash when leaving the lanes.

5) When the retards put their fingers in the ball return and lose their fingers, please remove their fingers before leaving the lanes.

6) Yes, they are pretty shoes but they're rentals which means they're not for keeps. Uh....Come to think of it...keep the shoes.

And on this theme the Friday send off song is Corky from Life Goes on singing celebrate. I've played it before but it's so classic that it needs to be enjoyed again.

And it's dedicated to Prunella Jones. Her funny comments have been cracking me up all week.

28 comments:

Girl Interrupted said...

:|

Ps: Personally, I find dribbling on the ball helps ... makes it slide right off those gutter buffer thingies

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

what not dribbling on the balls???? now you tell me....geesh!!!

Lisa said...

ha ha, no dribbling! funny stuff.

but seriously, I'm ducking while I'm in here... I don't want to be the one to get hit by the lightening.

Prunella Jones said...

Well, those rules might sound a little harsh but it's not that bad. Everybody wins and then Obama takes them to the zoo.

Thanks for the dedication and the shout out, Zibbs. I'm really flattered. Obviously this means that you love me and want to get married. And of course, my answer is yes, as long as you understand that I'm not yet ready to give up my career as Nashville's number one nude dancer and jello wrestler in order to be your bride. After all, it took me a good three weeks to claw my way to the top, baby!

Son of a Thomas said...

This video never fails to make me smile.

Dr Zibbs said...

Lisa - retarded people repell lightning so stand near one if you hear thunder.

P Jones - I may take you up on that prpposal.

S of T - Tis a good one. I was singing a fake version dedicated to Obama this afternoon. Maybe I'll post it on the Snapvine.

blueviolet said...

I was told gutter balls were desirable. Way to shelter me, Mom.

bernthis said...

so the reason why I can't bowl is because I'm retarded and NOT b/c I am drunk

words words words said...

As soon as I heard Obama make that comparison I thought "Oh boy, here we go...the Special Olympics is going to cry bloody murder." Because after apple pie and baseball, what America is known for is looking for ways to be offended.

Also, be careful of that Prunella Jones. She agreed to marry me on three separate occasions and I remain single.

Peggy said...

Yeah...I'm gonna have to go with Girl Interrupted on this one :I

straight face with those tiny little tears leaking out the sides of my eyes.

Kimmie said...

You are going to HELL! I'm dying over here.

AND, that guy in the yellow is totally laughing at Corky!

sista #2 said...

You are driving the fucking hell bus. This post just assured us all of that.

Peace
#2

P.S. O let's you smoke fatties in the White House? I am soooo going to visit him on my next day off.

Dr Zibbs said...

Peggy is that what :! means?
All I'm saying is don't kill the messenger.

And Kimmie - what are you dying over? Laughing? If so, you're going to hell with me. We can cook together.

B.E. Earl said...

Any excuse for a Corky appearance, eh?

diane said...

O is going to let each state decide if Mary should be legalized for medicinal purposes, it was on the news today (like that's a reliable source or something).

Debbie said...

I missed that show because my in-laws were visiting. I keep reading about that comment though. I am glad everyone doesn't dissect every comment I make.

mo.stoneskin said...

STUPID STUPID GOOGLE!

I've been trying to comment for about 10 minutes, and now the smart witty stuff in my mind has gone and now I'm just gonna scream.

AAARGH!

Right, when you say "everyone" that didn't include me. I feel excluded.

buffalodick said...

First rule of politics- Politicans must remain politically correct..

Dedene said...

Zibby,
You've broken my heart telling me that Obama is a retard.
But then, anyone who bowls is pretty dim.

Michelle said...

I forgot to tell you that I too, kinda don't like retarded people. They scare the bejesus out of me. You never know what they might or might not do. They are not to be trusted. Plus, CORKY is retarded. That video is frightening. Please don't post it again. I may have nightmares now!!!

LOVE
STALKER

P.S. Wanna go bowling with me???

Dr Zibbs said...

Michelle - If we ever cross paths yes. We'll bowl.

Kimmie said...

YES, laughing!

Where do you find this stuff?

I should start brushing up on cooking over an open flame :P

Speaking of tards, why is there a handicapped icon next to the word verification box?!

Mella said...

This so made my morning.

Kate said...

Good ol' Fox News, any chance they can get to take a stab at O.
Hey, I'll be the first to admit the good people who compete in the Special Olympics are trained athletes and could kick my ass in bowling any time. Uh, just like O was saying.

Dr Zibbs said...

Kate - I hear ya but it was carried on all networks.

Donna-FFW said...

You are a brave one. I like that! And admire a sense of humor even more.

Jess said...

Goooooood Stuff. I'm pretty sure we should all find a way to incorporate some sort of Special Olympics fun into our daily lives from here on out. We're lucky we have Corky to guide us.

Personally, I enjoyed the comment. But then my sense of humor is not necessarly suited for public office. Hence the reason I declined to run for governer in the next election. Down, minions!! Down!!

Gwen said...

Empowered by this, I slipped "retard" into every conversation I had all weekend.