PJ Whelinhan's of Downingtown Are You Kidding Me? Tater Tots. Bert Stinkerstone.

ALERT:: Our civilization will end in 7...6....5....4.....3...... Above is a picture of what my daughter ordered at PJ Whelinhan's sports bar in Downingtown yesterday. "Loaded Tater Tots."

I know it's a sports bar and at sports bars they serve bar food but something about this disturbs me. Look at the picture. Pretty appetizing huh? *gag*

We went there after going to the movies by the way. And speaking of movies the movie The Call is pretty entertaining but the Steve Carrell movie Bert Wonderstone is so bad and unfunny I'm shocked they released it. If I ever see it on TV while flipping channels someday I  won't even pause for a second. That's how bad it was. Even people in the theater weren't laughing. And that's bad because there are always people in theaters at comedies that laugh extra loud just to get attention. I hate those idiots.

All I kept thinking while watching it was how uncomfortable the premiere must have been. And the actor's must have been sitting there thinking, "I can't believe I'm in this."

Rabbit's Foot and The Dead Man Down Movie. Noomi Repace and Abigail Spencer.

I totally forgot that I used to have a rabbit's foot in 2nd grade. And I used to wear it on my belt loop.And I used to believe that it gave me super powers. I also thought that pieces of fool's gold that I collected gave me powers*. So I tried to keep one of those in my pocket.

I haven't thought about my rabbit's foot in years until I last week when I saw the movie Dead Man Down and there was a rabbit's foot in it. Pretty good movie and I will say that Noomi Repace was great in it. Looking forward to her in more movies. She's not my total type but there's something about her I like. Maybe it's the darkness. Even though I'm not really into that either so who knows. Just a great actress. Here she is:

Here's her when she's dark:

And speaking of women in movies I saw the stupid Oz movie. Don't see it. But there's a chick at the beginning that I DO like. And it was killing me who she was. In case you didn't know I never forget a face. She played the naive Kansas girl at the beginning of the movie. And she was super sweet. Here she is...tell me if you recognize her:

Did you guess? It's Abigail Spencer. She was in the web series Burning Love. Now SHE'S my type. Classic good looks and smiley. If you haven't seen Burning Love check it out. It's a parody of  The Bachelor. That reminds me. I need to check out season two of it that just came out. OK. I gotta go.

*If you want to see the other fashion accessory I had back in the day check out THIS post. 

Man Waved At By Chick Whilst People Watching And Listening to Wok And Woll.

He was sitting at a bar.

Watching the band and people watching.

From the end of the bar a cute girl smiles and waves to him.

Playing it cool he casually waves back. He thinks, "Do I know her? Is she waving because she likes me? She probably wants me to ask her to dance. Meh. I don't feel like it."

Just then - from his side - he hears a woman say, "Hey!" and she waves to the woman across the bar. It turns out he wasn't being waved at from the first woman as he originally thought. She was just waving at her friend who had just walked into the bar.

He considers yelling, "I  KNOW YOU WEREN'T WAVING AT ME! I WAS WAVING AT THE PERSON BEHIND YOU!" But realizes she's right up against the wall so it wouldn't make any sense.

He sits in shame.

And that man's name was......um...Vasco Da Gama*. Yeah. It wasn't me. It was Vasco Da Gama. The famous Portuguese explorer. You know...he sailed to India in the 16th century? Yeah. He did it. Not me. OK I have to go.

*And then  - according to Wikipedia - Vasco tried to peek over at the two women to see if the one was saying, "Can you believe that fucking dude thought I was waving at him? What an asshole."

PJ Whelihan's Downingtown Bacon Blue Burger and Hiring Hot Chicks. Sports Bars In Chester County.

There it is. The Bacon Blue Burger from PJ Whelihan's in Downingtown. I had it the other day and man was it deliiiish! I think I need to start eating more Gorgonzola. Gorgonzola is a blue cheese originally from Gorgonzola, Milan in case you didn't know. Created in 879 AD to be exact. Now you're prepared for Jeopardy.

I might have asked a similar question in a previous post but I forget so I'll ask it again. How do places like PJ Whelihan's - a sports bar known for it's hot bartenders and waitresses - turn down the homely chicks when they come in to interview? Like does they ask them all the usual interview questions but they know all along there's no way on God's green earth that she's getting a job there? I'm sure they have to. I remember that some dude a few years ago tried to sue Hooter's because they wouldn't hire him but I wonder if some ugly chick ever tried to sue for not being hot? Makes you wonder.

And I will say for the record that it's pretty pathetic seeing middle aged dude's getting all flustered when talking to a 21 year old bartender. I saw it when I was there. Pull yourself together man.

HAHA! Remember This Career Killing Video? Fem. Billy Squiere.

Remember this Billy Squiere video that literally killed his career because he looked like such a fem?

Dear God is this embarrassing. Also, try watching it with the sound off.

Breaker Breaker. Can I Get a 10-20? Bears. The 70's.

CB radio salute!

Let's learn all the lingo!

Wear this baby with pride. Don't mind the spelling error of the word "What's."

Oh yeah they do. And what is she holding? Tiny underwear?

Everyone is getting in on the action.

And to read a CB related post I wrote click here. 

Anyone Else Watching Indian Movies? Dabanng 2. Downingtown Regal.

As you know I see a lot of movies. And guess what my local theater (Downingtown Regal) has been showing? Indian movies!! We're talking Bollywood baby.

At first I was skeptical thinking I would be bored but they're great! In a cheesy way. Like that dude above? He's in the movie Dabanng 2. And it's NOT a comedy. Look at his proud stance. The stories are actually pretty good but the dudes in the movies are total macho cheeseballs. And the way they treat the ladies is pretty bad. All macho and shit. And the ladies like it. It's like they're in the 70's!

I just hope they keep playing them because whenever I go it's only me and a few other Indian people in the theater. One time this really old Indian lady - and I mean REALLY old - brought her own chair. I was all Huh???

OK so here's a little taste of one of the songs that they broke into during the movie. Let me know what you think.

The Rascal And Fatties And Old People. And Disney Wearing Folk Too.

Is it me or are more fatties riding The Rascal (aka motorized wheel chair thingy)?

I can see if you're old or if you were injured but if you're fat I think you should have a little bit of shame riding one. I don't see that many people riding them at supermarkets but I bet in a few years more and more people will. All it's gonna take is for a fatty to see a few other fatties ride one then all hell is gonna break loose. You wait. You heard it here first. Then fatties are going to insist that all stores have these things.

And on the subject of The Rascal and old people look at the old couple featured on The Rascal website:

Matching clothes? Really? I hope when I get old the advertising isn't as old peopley. And if I ever want to wear matching clothes with my spouse please kill me. Is that something that these couples evolve into when they get older? The only thing worse than this is when you see a couple and each one has their own Disney character that they wear. Like the woman is into Tinkerbell and the dude is into Grumpy. "You know Bob. He always has to wear his Grumpy. Me? I'm a Tinkerbell gal myself."

Kill me if I ever do that too.

This Nicholas Cage Image Had Me Laughing. Has Science Gone Too Far?

Oh my God I was surfing the information super highway and when I came across this image I couldn't stop laughing. Not AT the image but at the caption. about the image.

Attention Roman Catholic Cardinals. Conclave. No Excuse.

Attention Cardinals at the conclave preparing to vote for the next Pope. How about choosing one that wants to clean the church of child molesters? And bring them to justice. Because the last few Popes ignored this atrocity. But I'm sure you want to keep ignoring it.

How do you live with yourselves? No excuse.

Spammers Can Suck It! Removal Of Capchas Leads To Spam On Blogger. FIX THIS BLOGGER!

What the hell!!?? I changed my blog comments so everyone doesn't have to fill in capchas (as seen above) and guess what? I'm now getting 10 - 15 spam comments a DAY that I have to moderate and mark as spam. What the hell?

And all of the spam is to sites like online casinos and thigh cremes and crap like that. And it's obvious that it's coming from China because the comment will say something like:

"You been very good with explain of this great subject that I will share with friends. It did inform." Then they'll be a link. And there's never a "contact us" area on the website that the link goes to so I can bitch. Are they paying Chinese people per comment they leave? And why if I hit "mark as spam" can't Google/Blogger stop these comments from coming?

And I hate to go back to capchas because they're getting harder and harder to read. Damn it all to Hell!!

"Everyone Thinks I'm So Much Younger." Suuuuure They Do... "I Always Get Carded!"

I ran into a dude I used to work with last week and we got talking. He asked me how old my kids are (they're 19 and 16) He then asked, "How old are YOU?" And when I told him he said, "What? I always thought you were ten years younger!"

Now here's the thing. I'm told often that I look younger than I am but I think maybe I look a few years younger. Not ten. *looks in mirror* Hmmm. Maybe he is right... But do you ever run into these people - mostly women - that say, "Everyone thinks I'm 33!" OK so here's what usually happens. THEY say to the person, "How old do you THINK I am?" And the person being asked always says a younger age. But I've seen some of these people that claim that everyone thinks they're younger and when they tell me that I'm thinking, "Uh..I don't think so sweetheart."'

And then you have the women in their thirties that claim that they're always getting carded. OK. It happens legitimately to some women but usually the person doing the carding is trying to be nice. I hate to break the news to you.

But there are people that look younger than they are. Maybe it's something like 25 percent look five years younger and five percent look 10 years younger. What do you think?

As for looking older than you are that's the worst. I met this dude the other week and he said he was 43. I was thinking 55. I think my face looked kind of shocked when he told me. Oh well.

And on the subject of age I can't for the life of me tell the age of girls/women sometimes between the ages of 19 and 30.

So do any of you get told you look younger? How much younger? Also, state your age in the comments if you want. I'm curious how old you guys are.

Riding The Bus With My Sister. Great Acting Rosie.

And when you're acting and you're REAAAAAALLY acting....

So how hard was it to keep a straight face on the Rosie O'Donnell movie Riding the Bus with My Sister where she plays a special? I imagine her barking orders at the crew then a second later going into this terrible acting.

And I bet in interviews she probably said, "this is a story that really had to be told." And I'm sure the word "courage" was thrown around a lot.

Here's the trailer. Feel free to critique her acting in the comments area:

Limoncella of West Chester Gets Thumbs Up From Important Pork Lover For The Sliders. Chester County Pork.

As you know I love me some pork. With provolone. And long hots.

Here's a variation I got from Limoncello in West Chester, Pa the other week in the form of sliders. Pretty tasty. But I wish they gave you four. Or at least three. And an extra long hot. But then again it was an app and they were discounted for happy hour so I could have gotten a second serving. If I had wanted to look like a slob that is.

And here's what the bar area looks like in case you were wondering:

WARNING: Don't See The Movie Safe Haven. Julianna Hough.

I knew the movie Safe Haven was going to be bad but I saw it anyway (with my daughter). And when I say bad I mean Hallmark Channel bad.

Here are a things about it (SPOILER ALERT)

- Julianna Hough looks great but the acting? She totally exaggerates everything. And we know you have a great smile but it's way too much. She KNOWS she's sexy and that makes it annoying. And I can't get over the fact that she goes out with Ryan Seacrest.

- As mentioned above it's like a Hallmark movie. Super cheesy dialogue. Everything is predictable.

- Major inconsistency in the scene pictured above where she's in orange bikini. She's romping around in it in the water and a minute later she's back to wearing a tank top with bra and shorts. Where and why would she have changed??

- There's a scene after the house is burnt to the ground and the set designer should have been "fired." It looks like someone said, "OK we're filming the house after the fire. We have five minutes to throw a few things in this area! Lets get to work people!"

- OK this is the kicker (and Spoiler Alert): Throughout the movie she is friends with a woman that turns out to be the  ghost of Josh Duhamel's wife! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This is the worst ending I've ever seen to a movie ever. It's kind of like when you find out Bruce Willis was the ghost in The Sixth Sense but it makes no sense here. Was this movie written by a 7th grader? I'm sure Nicholas Sparks thought he was clever when he came up with this but really? So stupid.

Don't see this movie.

Remember When Blackman On Strangers With Candy Did That Dance? Charleston Style.

Remember when Principal Blackman did that dance at the end of that episode of Strangers with Candy? No. Not from the picture above. From the end of that one episode when they dance? Yeah you do. You don't? OK here's where he got it from. I'm going to practice it (it's the fancy footwork the first dude is doing) ......



Here are some other people doing it. It's called Charleston Style. And they do work in the arm swing and leg kick of the regular Charleston that we all know. And love.

Discusting Stink After Opening Up Ribs From Exton Giant. Get it Together!

On Saturday I go over to the Exton Giant Supermarket to buy some ribs that were on sale. I get home, cut open the plastic package and this stink wofts out of the package smelling so bad it almost knocked me over!

At first I thought maybe the smell was something from the garbage disposal but it wasn't. It was from the meat. I looked at the meat. It wasn't discolored. And the sell by date was eight days away. How does this happen?

I pack up the meat in four plastic bags (so the juices wouldn't leak) and I drive back to the Giant to get my money back. And my car stunk so badly I had put a window down. I bring it up to the counter and they didn't even question me about it. But about 10 seconds into making the return the customer service guy says, "OH MY GOD!" and pushes the ribs away.

How does this even happen? Was the meat sitting out for too long before they packed it? Did something other than the meat get into the package? Now I'm going to be grossed out by ribs for a while.

Daughter Tries To Get Me Do Imitation for Her Teacher. Jerry Lewis Jimmy Stewart Hybrid.

Oh man I was totally put on the spot the other day. I picked my daughter up from school and while my daughter is standing next to me a teacher comes over and says, "Oh Dr Zibbs, you daughter tells me you do a perfect imitation of Doctor R&#$%##  from Kids First. My kids have gone there for years!"

I'm totally taken off guard and I'm all, "Uh yeah...I do....Yeah he's a real character....Well uh...nice to see you."

We walk out and my daughter is laughing, "Why didn't you do the imitation Dad? She was waiting all afternoon to hear it?"

"Because I don't even know here!" Ha!

And trust me. The imitation is so spot on and over the top that it's almost frightening to the person hearing it. The doctor sounds like a combination of Jerry Lewis and...

...Jimmy Stewart. With a tinge of a hard of hearing retarded person. And the imitation is based on the time the doctor was asking my son some questions about a fender bender he had gotten into. And when I do it I have to get really close to the person, stare them in the eyes and with lips kind of flapping and head nodding it goes like this...

"So Jack WHO exactly was driving the automobile that hit you from behind? Was it an older gentleman?...(exaggerated hand motions) Um...a mother with a young child perhaps?...Someone YOUR age?? Who was it?"

Then he says, "Now I'm assuming you like the attention of pretty young ladies* Jack is that correct? Oh good because I'm going to have you wear a neck brace for a few weeks and young ladies will be approaching you to inquire what exactly happened...because they'll see you with the next brace...and they'll be curious..I'm sure that's something that you can live with...am I correct in saying that Jack??..(turns to me) See Dad, I didn't think he's have a problem with that."

And as the imitation goes on people usually back up because I'm right in their face. It's kind of scary actually.

Oh well. Maybe if I get to know her I'll do it for her someday. I just hate being put on the spot. And I don't like taking requests. What am I? Your trained monkey?

*What? "Pretty" young ladies will approach him? Don't homely young ladies get curious too?

Wayne PA House And Letting Five Year Olds Go To The Park Alone. Turtles..

I had to go to a funeral last week and on the way we drove by the house I lived in until I was seven,. There it is above. It's in on the Mainline in Wayne, PA. It was about two minutes from the Devon Horse Show if you know where that is.

Then we drove by the park I used to go to that was right down the street. And it got me thinking how when I was five I was allowed to go to the park by myself. Can you imagine people today doing that?? Here are a few memories I have of that park:

- There was a little storage house where you go borrow balls, hula hoops, shuffle board sticks and the like. But I was terrified of going in because the older kids were known to turn off the lights and lock kids in. And by "older" they were probably nine year olds.

- I found a box turtle* near the woods and I brought it home. It had a red paint stripe on it. I kept it for a few months then my dad made me return it. I can't remember why he made me release a pet back into the wild. Maybe lettuce and hamburger prices (it's food) were skyrocketing in the early 70's? I'll need to Google that.

- There was a kid named John that lived across the street from the Park. He was in my first grade class. I used to go to his house once and a while. The last time I went is when I was at the park then crossed the street to see if he could come out. A stranger answered the door and the man said, "Oh that family moved a few days ago. We live here now." And then closed the door on me *cue sad trombone*

Huh?? Thanks for telling me John! Wherever you are. 

*FUN FACT:: Box turtles live their entire lives roaming no more than one square mile?

Lawrence Welk Is Doin' Some Tokin'! Weed Smoking Straights.

 Awww yeah. My man LW is endorsing toking. Progressive ass son of a bitch.

Which Is Your Favorite? Parakeet, Mona Lisa, Clarinet and Dummy.

Which is your favorite?

Boy Staring At Parakeet

 Crappy Mona Lisa Painting

Chubby Nerd Showing Clarinet Pride

Family Of Freaks With Dummy

...and why?

Lookalike Alert! Who Do These Dudes From The Band Spider Look Like? Spicoli.

Did you ever hear of the band Spider? No? Ne neither. But I saw this album cover on one of my favorite blogs - Retrospace - and had to post it because looks like we have a little lookalike action happening here.

Take a look. Who do you think each of them looks like? OK Help me out here because I can only figure three out but the other one looks familiar and if it comes to me I'll post it in the comments. Here we go. Going from far right....

Far right (red shirt) - Totally Sean Penn as Spicoli. Am I right? Hmmmm?

Second from right (blue shirt) - The poor man's Rick Springfield.

Third from right (yellow shirt)  - George Thorogood with a wig. Look at the mouth.

Fourth from right (black shirt) - I'm stumped.

And here's Spicoli if you want to compare images....

See??

What About The THIRD Choice? Thurston's Bitch. Gilligan's Island.

You always hear the question: "Who would you pick? Ginger or Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island."  Here's Ginger:

Nice. Now here's Mary Ann:

Oh yeah. I'd go with Mary Ann like most men. What do you think the percentage is? 75% to 25%? Probably.

But the real question is...how many people get mad and say, "Mary Ann or Ginger? Why don't I get to choose Lovey???" Here she is:

Don't lie. You want it. Look at her asleep...helpless...ready for the taking....Thurston is probably counting his money. Greedy ass bitch. Not tending to her needs...Mmmmmmm...Uh....I gotta go.

My Favorite Gift Ever. I Had This Panasonic Tape Recorder. Mayor McCheese.

There it is. The Panasonic tape recorder that I got in fourth grade. Do you know how much use I got out of this bad boy? Here are a few things I used it for:

- Leaned it against the TV and taped the early Saturday Night Lives. Then played the tapes over and over.

- Worked on my early imitations such as Mayor McCheese.

- Attached a Radio Shack phone jack to it and made prank phone calls to hot lines.

- Made scary noises and put it under siblings beds.

- Taped my friend Kyle getting yelled out by his dad when his dad got the $100 plus phone bill for the "free" hot lines that we called. (I convinced Kyle that they were free because, "Do you really think they're gonna charge mental people?")

.......AND MORE!

I miss recording stuff. I think I need to start using the voice recorder on my phone. Maybe to secretly record people. Or maybe just to hear conversations later that I forget about. Like when I'm out with people drinking and I'm being all funny and shit. Then next day I always wake up and think, "Man. I wish I could remember what I was saying that was cracking everyone up."

And below is Mayor McCheese in case you forgot what he looked like. And my imitation of him went a little.... like this *clears throat* It's McDonalds ya know!"

See? I told you it was good. 

THIS IS SO GREAT! Shine On You Crazy Diamond. Kendra Morris.

What's your favorite Pink Floyd Album? Mine has always been "Wish You Were Here." Ahh. The days of sitting around the dorms late at night in my Freshman and Sophomore year. The room dark except for candles. Listening to that album with a friend or two. After...You know.

How many of you did this? Come on...lets see a show of hands.

And on that album one of my favorite songs is "Shine On You Crazy Diamond". It's about the crazy founding Pink Floyd member Syd Barrett in case you didn't know. He left the band because he went crazy. But then he actually came into the studio when they were recording the song but he was fat and had shaved his head so at first they had no idea who is was. (Here's the Wiki page if you want to read about it).

But before you read about it check this out. I was seeing a movie the other day and the trailer for the new Colin Farrell movie Dead Man Down cam on and there's a cover of Shine on You Crazy Diamond playing. And IT'S GREAT!!! Super eire! It's sung by a woman named Kendra Morris. Let me know what you think. I love it!

This Dude Named Dale At Work. Twizzler Ritual. Tastykake Pie Packaging.

A letter to this dude at work and his Twizzler eating ritual. His name is - get this - DALE.

Dale,

On behalf of everyone your Twizzler eating ritual has to stop. It's bad enough that you walk around with a coffee stirrer hanging out of your mouth trying to look like a badass but the Twizzler thing must stop.And by the way stop walking around with your chest out like you're a muscle guy. You're a fat guy. And on that note do you know that your protruding belly button can be seen through TWO shirts?? TWO!! Like a pregnant lady!

OK back to the Twizzlers. Here's what you do. You get one Twizzler then you dangle it in your mouth for about a minute. Then you chomp it in the way a horse would and chew a bit then chomp some more in. If you saw yourself on film you might stop. But I doubt it. Kids do this!

And on other food related news do you really have to bring a full Thanksgiving sized meal into lunch everyday? Keeping the fridge loaded up with all of your TV dinners and microwaveable meals? Then you make a production out of the meal. Pulling out bags of salad, salad dressing, baggies of cheese, side dishes in tupperware, applesauce and snack pack puddings, spices, tastykakes for dessert... ENOUGH!

And the way you eat? I'm happy  - and surprised actually - that you keep your mouth shut but what the hell is going on with your lips when you chew? You look like a camel! LOOK IN THE MIRROR! It's gross! And you examine the food. Then every bite you take in slowly. I can tell you're enjoying it. Savoring.

You're obsessed with food.. Every time somebody is pulling their lunch out of the fridge you curiously look over. Extending your neck. The mice running on the wheel in your pee brain running as hard as they can trying to figure out what they're about to eat. Like a dog. It's killing you that you don't know so you then casually say, "Eh? ...So whatcha got there?" Also weird and creepy. Then you make a comment about the food and tell the person what you're preparing. Nobody cares Dale.

And finally, remember when I was eating a Tastykake cherry pie and you gave a five minute dissertation about how the new packaging for the pies is a rip off because "the pie packaging is heavier but the total weight of the product is the same so we're getting ripped off?" and it was probably "some big wigs*" idea?

Did you notice how I wasn't paying attention? Well take a hint.

*Who says "big wig?"

Why Does This Make Me Laugh? Intruder Looks In The Window At Lady.

This picture was on comedian Rob Delaney's website and I have no idea why it makes me laugh so hard.

Here's another angle:

HA!.

Did Anyone Else See Mama? Jessica Chastain. Horror Movies.

Did anyone see the movie Mama?

Rush to your theater now! OK there are some flaws - like the ending - but overall it was really creepy. I got chills all over my body two times and had about ten scares.

It's a shame really that there aren't more good horror movies that come out so you have to take what you get. And what made this movie so good for me too was that I took my 16 year old daughter and she was terrified. She screamed a few times and even at one point yelled, "Don't open the closet!" I whispered, "Are you a black person?"

And there's a trailer for a new exorcism movie that's coming out and it looks REALLY creepy. Of all the horror genres devil related movies are my favorite.

I bet some of you pussies are afraid of horror movies. Am I right?

Mac and Cheese. Porter Beer and MORE! Sidebar In West Chester. Market Street Grill.

Here are a few things I've eaten recently and some notes:

Eggs Benny - So delicious. I got this meal last week at the Market Street Grill in West Chester (PA) with a friend. Look at the quality if that picture. It's from my new Galaxy phone. I always swipe a bit of the sauce off in case you're wondering.

Eggs and Potatoes  - Here is...wait...why is the picture not good? Whatever. This is eggs and potatoes. I made them.You fry taters that you baked the night before then scramble eggs in. Why don't more people make this? And what are your thoughts on ketchup? I can't eat fries or scrambled eggs without ketchup.

Ham and Bean Soup  - My brother-in-law made this. And it was damn good. Another quality picture. I should sell this to Bon Appetite and make some fucking bucks!

Founders Porter Beer  - I was at The Sidebar the other night and had this Founders Porter. DELICIOUS! I like beer a lot but only a few I LOVE. This is now one of them. Creamy and bitter. But I wish it had a larger head.

Salami and Tomato Mac and Cheese OH YEAH! This is the reason I went to The Sidebar. Every Tuesday they feature three or four original mac and cheese dishes and I've been wanting to try one. This salami and tomato version hit the spot.

And here's a little treat for you. See that bar stool on the far right? That's the actual seat I was sitting in. Go ahead...pretend you're dining with me. Don't feel embarrassed.