Monday, August 25, 2008

Why Not to Wear Clothes Out of Your Comfort Zone

It's kind of sad (funny) when people try to reinvent themselves by wearing one piece of clothing or sport a new accoutrement in the attempt to change their look. And it fails. Here are a few real life examples and the reactions that I've witnessed.

- New style: My friend Jim, who was listening to a lot of southern rock, came to the bus stop wearing a cowboy hat. I'm sure there was at least an hour trying different ways to position it on his head. "..and a little bit with the front tip leaning forward..yup that should do it."
Reaction: (Me. Staring with disbelief at hat): "Jim. you can't wear that to school." - said in the same tone I would have said, "Jim, don't jump off the bridge, people can't fly." The hat lasted until third period. It made it's shameful way home at the bottom of a gym bag. It was never spoken of again.

- New Style: In 11th grade, (1981), two preppy football players pulled the ultimate douchebaggery move by coming to school - both of them - wearing clogs.
Reaction: There was complete pandemonium in the cafeteria as they walked in. Word had spread. People in the back of the cafeteria that couldn't see these new exchange students - that looked exactly like two preps in our school except they were gay and from Holland ran up to catch a glimpse. Dumb jocks.

- New Style: Greaser wannabe dude in 7th grade dubbed himself "The Wizard", by writing, "The Wizard" and drawing a bunch of crescent moons, in blue pen on his denim jacket. Just like a unplanned school election poster, he ran out of room so the letters "r" and "d" were squashed and thinner than the other letters.

Reaction: This nickname starter, only succeeded in getting one person to call him the Wizard, In fact, in 12th grade, years after the Wizard jacket hung on a hanger in an attic, covered with spider webs and tears, the same lone person that called him the Wizard was still announcing, "Hey look everyone, it's the Wizard. Don't put a magic spell on me now Wizard. Where's your jacket Wizard?"

Lesson learned: Don't try to be different. Stay plain.


Rider said...

I disagree. No one has said anything about the headband or Hammer pants I wear to Home Depot.

Falwless said...

The good doctor is at it again - saving the world - one citizen at a time.

I praise your good deeds.

Anonymous said...

When I was 14, a friend and I took up smoking.

After a few weeks of stealing his mom's Marlboro's and being cool at the park, he shows up with a corn cob pipe.

A frigin corn cob pipe.

He thought it was an accessory that would add to his waft of cool.

Needless to say, I no longer smoke and he is dead.

MJenks said...

I'd have called that guy "The Wizard".

However, I would have done it while I was perched on his chest, gripping the scruff of that denim jacket clenched in my left fist while pummeling his face with my right. And it would have been something like "How do you like that, The Wizard?" *punch* "Where's your magic now, The Wizard?" *punch* "Did you just piss your pants again, The Wizard?" *punch*

Dale said...

If he'd Bedazzled 'The Wizard' maybe things would have turned out differently? Probably bloodier but different.

Mo said...

Oh god. I remember wearing socks color-coordinated with my ugly 80s sweaters. If there were five different colors in the sweater pattern, I had to layer five pairs of socks on my poor, smothered feet to the point that walking became a challenge and my shoes nearly split apart like sausages.
Ah, the 80s...

Lyla Lou said... you the Wizard?

BeckEye said...

You were in 11th grade in 1981? You're old!!!

But anyway...I once sent away for a replica of the jacket that Madonna wore in "Desperately Seeking Susan." Yep, that ugly green thing with the Egyptian symbols and pyramid on the back. When I got it, I realized that the word "replica" was probably a bit too kind. It was quickly sent back, and soon after I stopped liking Madonna.

Dr Zibbs said...

Jenks: Funny
Layla Lou: I'm NOT the Wizard.
Beckeye: Kiss my arse.

(Un)popular said...

Sounds like an episode of What Not to Wear! Hats and clogs are very hard to pull off though!

Fancy Schmancy said...

That is very funny. I used to do that with every phase I went through, take the costume to the extreme wonder why everyone was looking at me funny. Yeah, I was a loser.

Gwen said...

You can wear whatever you want if you hang out with Super Chill Monkey.

BTW, did he get the part?

Anonymous said...

Just last night my husband told me he had a Gandolf t-shirt in high school. Good thing we didn't know each other then, I never would have married the nerd.

Elizabeth said...

The Wizard. Oh, boy. You can't give yourself any nickname. It's just not going to stick.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

A good day for me in high school was when nobody noticed me. Even better days were when someone wore something goofy for me to make fun of.

Anonymous said...

Well hey now, Tony Spunk's first on stage ensemble was finished with a Bedazzler. You ain't fly till you're sequined up, dig? Hell even Liberace dug a sequin here and there. I bet even Liberace's little Liberace was sparkly.

Clogs however, are just plain wrong. There are states you can be shot for wearing those. Or there should be. I'd like to vote for that law.

My style? I like to rock an embroidered bolero jacket to shows, the real Mexican Mariachi good stuff not cheap imitation shit from like "H&M" full of European wannabe guys who pout a lot and stare through their bangs while trying to look rawk.

Del-V said...

I'm waiting for acid washed jeans to come back in style. Some say they never went out of style.

ÄsK AliCë said...

I may have dated The Wizard

Oh wait, I wasn't even BORN YET