Various Things About Food And Me...Dr Zibbs. Non Robot Stuff.

So in response to Whiskey Marie I will now talk about various food related things. Feel free to do a similar list and link to your list in the comments:

What food makes you sick?: Beets. I can't even stand the smell of them.

What is a food habit that you can't stand?: People that have to sniff their food before eating it. Not a simple smell followed by, "this smells great", it's a sniff as if they think something might be in the food that's bad.

What food habit did your sister used to have growing up that you couldn't stand?: She used to eat one potato chip at a time then quickly lick each finger and her thumb before getting another chip. I know she was doing it just to annoy me but she never admitted it.

What food cracks you up?: The zucchini and the cucumber. Especially when they're sitting in a work kitchen and you hear people say, "Look at the size of this cucumber!" It's just so phallic that it cracks me up. I must admit that whenever I have a cucumber and my wife is near I can't resist sneaking up behind her, rubbing it on her and groaning. She never finds it as funny as I do.

What vegetable couldn't you live without? : Onions.

Food gadgets you remember as a child?: There was the hot air popcorn machine with the built in butter melter that my mom got with green stamps. And the hot dog cooker that looked like a space age toy with prongs that the wieners would be inserted into. They always tasted like terrible.

Food that was hidden, then discovered on the top shelf of your room?: Hot dogs with paper towel used for handle. Hot dogs were all my brother would eat for a while. When he got sick of them he would throw them on our top shelf.

Without mentioning robots, how do you think cooking in the future will be better?: I can't wait until they can breed pigs that can cook each other. Like they'll be three pigs and they'll draw straws. The loser gets cooked by the other two while you sit on your deck and watch.

Then what will you do with the other two pigs?: Uh...Robots will cook them?

What is an annoying thing that bothers you about women and food?: I hate the women that go on and on about dessert. Especially when you're eating with a crowd and they answer the waiter by saying, "Oh there's ALWAYS room for dessert." There is? Then quit blabbin' about your diet so much when you're so into dessert.

Food you once projectile vomited after being wasted, drinking 151 then eating 4 of them? Ring Dings.

Are there other food questions you want answered? Ask me in the comments area.

I Need Help Naming This Garden Creature in My West Chester Garden.

What the hell is this goofy ass bird? It's just a wooden sculpture that adds a little whimsy to my famous THE THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE - that's all. My famous West Chester, PA garden that is.

The problem is you see - it doesn't have a name. Would you like to name it? Leave your name suggestion in the comments section. I will then refer to the creature as your name. If you win that it.

And feel free to come up with a back story/legend or the use that this creature performs in my garden.

Now get to work.

The TBY Garden Of Hope. West Chester Organic Veggies.

For new readers of TBY that haven't printed out and analyzed and framed all of my blogs posts, you may not be familiar with THE THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. It's my Chester County vegetable garden. And it's underway for the season.

Now don't get all discouraged - I know - it doesn't look like much now. But print the photos out each week and post them up in a local rec center or your trailer park lobby and follow along as I grow things. Get the whole community involved and follow my progress. Some have been known to make their own color coding systems for better understanding.

Now I know many of my readers are not very smart, so by following along, you'll see that vegetables actually come from the ground.

It's true dummy!

Enjoy the journey!

Blogger Imagines Ladder Accident While On Ladder Yesterday.

Yesterday I was way up on the ladder trying to cut branches. You see, I need to get more sunlight going to my veggie garden.

I don't really mind the height once I'm up there but once in a while it spooks me. I looked over and a saw one of the red tailed hawks in another tree and I was imagining that he was going to swoop at me. I'd then accidentally push the ladder and I'd be hanging on for dear life.

I'd be yelling for my wife to put the ladder back. She'd finally get the ladder up but I'd be afraid to put my feet back onto it for fear of falling. We'd then get into an argument over whether she should call some neighbors to help or the fire department but I couldn't figure out which would be less embarrassing.

After a while people would start gathering at the curb to see what all racket was about.

This is a real scenario of the type of stuff that goes through my head everyday. Oh Lord - why was a cursed with this brain? It just won't stop sometimes.

Now enjoy this klutz falling off a small ladder.

Small Snake Freakin' Me Out. Phobias and Bed Bug Problem.

Sssssssss!!!! Here's a picture of a snake I captured in a bucket. You may remember this bucket as the same one I use in The THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. Yeah. It's the same one! I love the sound of the clanking handle.

I have no problem with big snakes. If someone had a boa constrictor or python, I would put it around my neck in a second.

There's something about these small snakes though that freak me out. They move too fast and I think they're sneaky.

Not many things freak me out or spook me but the other thing that makes me sick is something I heard on the news this morning. Do you know that there's a major problem with bed bugs? There is. So watch out.

The other thing in the yard that freaks me out is when I pick up a rock and a vole comes running out. That's when I scream like a girl.

What grosses you out or sickens you? And don't say me.

Topsy Turvey Sales. So Close - Yet So Far Away. Tomato.

Whoa! Look at the Topsy Turvy upside down growing bag on my sidebar. Growing tomatoes upside down? Huh?

And it works too. Have you seen the commercial? One blogger told me she bought one this weekend at Kmart and another blogger told me she MIGHT be buying one from me. I couldn't make this stuff up. So close yet so far away.

Do you know what it means for you though? You could be one of the first people to buy the Topsy Turvy from That Blue Yak. And if you do, I get something like 30 cents. And if you're on the line about making the purchase I want you to know that when I spend that 30 cents I'll be thinking about really sick children. In YOUR honor!

So what are you guys growing in your veggie gardens this year?

And here's my veggie garden tip of the day: "To keep deer away, I like to make a mixture of soap and Tabasco and spray it on the leaves. I also grow some mint and clip it and string it around my garden fence. If you have a wolf or a bear, try chaining it to your garden fence. That should work too".

Green Onions. Booker T. Seeds and Things For West Chester Garden.

So I've picked up the following that will be going into my The THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE this week:

- Onions sets
- Shallots
- Lettuce - Black-Seeded Simpson
- Lettuce - Iceburg A
- Spinach - Bloomsdale Long-Standing
- Cabbage - Earliana

I also picked up some Beefmaster and Early Girl Tomato seeds that I'll be starting indoors.

I think I'll play Booker T's song "Green Onions" at the opening ceremony of my garden this year. So I'm giving everyone time to learn this dance.

Chester County Library Needs Some Privacy Policies. Friendly Can Be Nosy.

I'm pretty friendly when it comes to talking to people that are servicing me. But I've got an issue with a particular librarian at our local library. Whenever I check out books, this individual needs to comment on the books.

This person sometimes even opens the book. "'Hmmm. Organic gardening huh? I guess it is about that time that people are starting to think about Spring.'" Or "'Cover Letters for Dummies'. Well you don't have to be a dummy to get your resume together these days.'"

I feel like getting these books out someday - and then this will happen:

"OK. What do we have today?. Oh. 'Making Masks'. Interesting. Alrighty and..Wow, "'The World of Serial Killers'. Creepy stuff there. And finally, 'Cover Your Tracks Without Changing Your Identity.' "

(nervously) "Will there be anything else?"

Yeah. Will you help me carry them to the car?

If The Reader's Digest ever publishes an evil version - I'm going to sell them this post. I think it would fit in nicely with that surprise ending thing I did there.

PLEASE - I Need Some Vegetable Gardening Help - NOW!

I thought I had everything under control after deer proofing the THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE, but no. I think now I have to gay proof it. This morning, I found this zucchini positioned in the middle of the garden with the two cukes strategically placed to look a like a man's "member". Only I'm worried that it's a warning that "they're" after me? When I first saw this, a gay version of Children of the Corn went through my head and frankly, I was a bit frightened. Not of the gays, but that creepy Children of the Corn red-headed kid with the overbite - that freak always gave me the heebie jeebies.

Let me say, I'm fine with the gays, but I'm not really familiar with their ways. To be safe, the neighbor on the right of my house is away in Ocean City NJ so I broke into their garage and stole the pile of magazines they've been piling up (I grabbed a few PBR's while I was at it too). I then made a path from my garden to my other neighbor's house with alternating copies of People, Organized Living and Glamour Magazine - hoping to lure them into my neighbor's yard.

I'm not sure if it'll totally gay proof my garden but the guy at the Lowes in Downingtown said to try this first and if it doesn't work I could move up to seeds, snares, nets and traps but I'm gonna see how the magazines work first. He was very helpful.

West Whiteland Vegetable Garden of Hope Is In The Ground

As promised the THAT BLUE YAK VEGETABLE GARDEN OF HOPE is underway. The West Whiteland Garden will provide the employees of THAT BLUE YAK with something to do on their lunch hour and a local bum some free produce. So far in the ground are:

1. Lettuce - 2 versions have been planted in succession. The first batch - as seen above - is ready to pick.


2. Scallions - planted a month ago and ready for picking.


3. Radishes - planted a month ago and ready in about a week.


4. Runner Beans -planted a few days ago


5. Zucchini - (the phallic clown of the vegetable world) -planted.


6. Bush Pickles - planted mid May.


7. Tomatoes - 6 varieties

A small "concert" was unenthusiastically performed by a local ("Children of the Corn" Charlie) to celebrate the earth, warn the varmints and announce to Chester County that the kick-ass Garden of Hope is in the soil. Songs performed included Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver" and several selections by Rico Suave and Bel Biv Devoe

The songs performed were SO kick-ass, this deer was seen high tailing it off of the grounds:

AND STAY OUT!!!!

West Chester Growers Market Is Now Open - It's Veggie Time

The West Chester Growers Market is open for biz. And this is exactly where THAT BLUE YAK employees went to pick out veggies to be grown in the THAT BLUE YAK VEGETABLE GARDEN OF HOPE. Human Resources director Bennie Duke explains,

"We have a few employees that are at the verbal warning stage here at the Yak. Since we have a nice plot out back, we decided to force them to grow vegetables on their lunch hour. Once we're ready to harvest the bounty, we'll pick a charity and donate some of the food to it. Companies are always getting PR by donating junk to poor or 'different people' - why not us?"

And the West Chester Growers market is THE PLACE TO GO if you want to get some really nice heirloom tomatoes as well as some varieties of peppers that can't be found at Waterloo Gardens and some of the other Chester County plant joints.

So join us and watch as our employees are illegally forced to work the land, and we attempt to grow some stuff that we can give to a bum.

If you want to visit the West Chester Growers Market, it's located on the corner of Darlington and Chestnut Street in West Chester.

(DISCLAIMER: AS NOTED ABOVE, WE'LL BE DONATING A PORTION TO A CAUSE. WE WILL PICK THE CAUSE AND THE PORTION. WILL THE PORTION BE A SINGLE BEAN OR RADISH? WILL THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE VEGGIE BE DONE BY TOSSING IT OUT OF A MOVING VEHICLE WHILE YELLING, "HERE YOU GO BUM"? LEGALLY, YES WE CAN DO THAT).