Friday, November 14, 2008

Baby Cakes Video And A Weekend Problem

Well it's the weekend so it's time as usual to start things out with a song. Here's another great video from Brad Neely that you have to watch. It's so funny that it makes me want to kill something! When you're done watching that, see below for a very serious weekend issue.



So here's the problem. A neighbor invited us to a local benefit. There's a silent auction and it's only $10 to get in. Light food and beer. But I just found out it's to benefit Special People - (raises one brow and talks a bit softer and slower) - you know what I mean by "special" don't you?

Well, you know that I have a fear of these special people. Sure, I discuss them from the safety of my blog but that doesn't mean that I need to interact with them in real life. I like lions too but you don't see me entering their cages. No. I'd rather safely poke them with a stick from the outside of the cage thank you.

So, does anyone have any ideas I can use to repel the Special People in case they want to approach me? And they will. Are there certain colors that they fear, a look I can cast or phrase to mumble to them? Something like, "Better get out of here. I heard there's a werewolf coming in here." Any tricks to give them the hint of "No thanks - move onto the next guy please".

I just have this crazy feeling that one of the Specials is going to see me from across the room and want to come over and hug me. Trust me. I've just got that look.

31 comments:

Smoochies said...

Just act crazier then them...then spit on them.

Dr Zibbs said...

Smoochies - what do I look like a weirdo or something?

Falwless said...

I cannot stop laughing.

Falwless said...

Fuck, that was funny. "..one of the Specials.." ??

You are so offensive it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.

words words words said...

Upon entering the hall, go up to the first one you see and just clock him (or her) right in the face. Hard. The rest will get the message.

Giggle Pixie said...

When a special approaches you, put on your best hysterical look on your face, make your hands into fists and tightly hug yourself, and jump quickly from leg to leg while yelling, "The boobysnatchers! The boobysnatchers! Get away! Help me, the boobysnatchers! Momma! You said there'd be no more boobysnatchders!!!"

And if you're lucky, that might even earn you a little money for being "special" too. :-)

Bombchell said...

omg both u & that video are a different kind of speciallll. lol (sigh)*puts head in palms*

Bombchell said...

lol @ vid. when i was a kid they told me adults dont fart which i believed for the longest time lol

Dr Zibbs said...

WWW - I read your comment on my blackberry while in the car and was a laughing out loud. Good one.

Sausage Mechanic said...

Don't go. I went once and woke up the next morning a specialist.

Poobomber said...

All you need to do is tell them there's candy in the next room. Easy.

If that doesn't work, I don't know what will.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Stop by your local Micky D's on your way there and pick up several bags of french fries. "Specials" love french fries...

I know this because I was in a mall food court when a hand reached over my shoulder and snagged the last couple fries from my wrapper. I turned around and it was a "special" who'd gotten away from the group. I didn't care, I prefer onion rings.

...put the individual bags in places far away from where you'll be hanging out. Hopefully the "specials" will eat slowly.

Michelle J said...

You may want to start singing
Look at me i'm walking....AWAY from you specials.

Also, that song from the video, if you sing that, all sorts of special things may start happening.

Either way, have fun!!!

Cora said...

You have the huggable look? Why didn't you mention this before?

I agree with j.j. in l.a. - McD's is the way to go. Only I would use Big Macs instead 'cuz they have the "special sauce" (that must be what it's for).

~E said...

if you weren't so gaddam funny, I'd hate you!

Now I just hate myself.

*tear*

J.J. in L.A. said...

I think Cora's onto something...but aren't Big Macs and french fries the most popular items at Micky D's?

I guess that means there are more "specials" out there than we thought...

buffalodick said...

Send money and don't go.. they want the money, not you...

Cora said...

Or you could throw down handfuls of Special K and watch 'em flock to it like ducks.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Bring plenty of tennis balls. When one approaches you, throw a tennis ball in the opposite direction. Five dollars says every single one of them will chase it. And not one will bring it back.

enc said...

I think if you wear some Brut aftershave that might help as a repellent.

Bizarro Zibbs said...

Although you're my sworn enemy, as a retired retard hunter the code of the business obligates me to help you.

To start with, Words Words Words is forgetting about their superhuman retard strength - remember, they're like orangutans in more ways than one (i.e. throwing their shit, insatiable appetites, liking Clint Eastwood, and of course, amazing strength). Leave the retard hunting to the professionals. In addition, what many people are forgetting are the "sympathizers" - those people that think the retard is human and should be treated well. If you taunt them, you'll be scorned big time. There's only one way to handle a mob of retards. One way.

Magic.

Tell the host in advance that you'd like to contribute to the event by performing some magic upon arrival. Plan a couple of lame card tricks to sell the ruse but feature one trick involving fire (much like Frankenstein's monster, the retard fears fire). If you can saw a woman in half or make someone disappear, even better but most of us don't have the materials - a little lighter fluid up the sleeve is easy and cheap and can be purchased at your local farmer's market (of course, get in and get out b/c the retards tend to flock there too). The normals will appreciate the act but the others will be terrified. You'll be safe.

TWO WAYS THIS COULD GO WRONG:
1. Don't stay too long as they will eventually forget the magic act. They have the memory of a worm.
2. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT wear a cape. Retards LOVE capes.

Good luck.

P.S. It's Earl Camembert, not Bobby Bittman. K of P? Not even close.

MR style said...

LOL HILARIOUS

katrocket said...

Try shouting: "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING RETARD!!!".

Works every time.

MelO said...

Wear fake vampire teeth and when one approaches you, stick your hands out like claws on either side of your face and growl... showing your teeth.

That'll send 'em running, for sure ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

I'll say this is delicately as I can. You're all going to hell.

Scope said...

1) Spray the other half of "us" with some of that spray butter. (Does that crap serve any other purpose?)

2) Film the "specials" lick off the butter spray.

3) Market the video for fame and fortune.

Or just print THIS on your T-shirt. Then grab a couple of "road sodas" as you are escorted out.

teri said...

I think your all special and am laughing hysterically at all of you.

Miss Catherine said...

Zibbs-
The answer is obvious. Just blend in. Go in a wheel chair. (make sure you have sweet wheelchair tricks) Make up a sweet story, and don't move your legs.

Problem solved.

Lovley Miss C.

Falwless said...

This is by far the best batch of comments EVER.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Miss Catherine has a good idea. I have an extra wheelchair you can borrow...all you'd have to do is drool a little bit - okay, maybe a lot. They'll buy it for sure. You might even get a cut of the proceeds if you're good enough.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Btw, when you get back, go to my blog...because you've been TAGGED! Sorry! I'm new here and I was desperate! lol!