Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Practical Joke I Did During A Blizzard



I love practical jokes. In fact, I may just make this a regular feature on the ole' TBY. Here's one that I did years ago:

Setting: Early 1990's during a blizzard in PA. We lived in a condo in Delaware County. About 8 inches were already on the ground. Everything, well, almost everything was closed. Annnnnnd ACTION.

Tom, our neighbor in a third floor units has ordered a pizza. A man who looks as if he is 70 years old, trudges past our first floor unit and makes his way up the outside wooden stairs to deliver the pizza to Tom.

Me: (to wife) What the hell? Look. What's that old guy doing with that pizza?
Wife: (looking out window in amazement) I thought everything was closed? Oh my God he's going to kill himself. Who the hell ordered a pizza in this?
Me: Holy crap Tom did it.

Grasping to the railing, Pizza man slowly makes his way down the icey steps, carefully gets into his way to his car and leaves.

Me: That's it (reaches for phone and dials Tom's number)
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Oh you'll see. (Tom picks up phone on the other end of line. I start talking like an old man in pain). Are you the guy that ordered the pizza?
Tom: It was already delivered.
Me: (still talking as old man) No. I'm the one who delivered it. I just fell. I'm lying in the parking lot out here!
Tom: (frantic) WHAT? OH MY GOD!
Me: I just fell and I'm talking from my cell phone in the parking lot. I think I broke my back. Help me. Help...(voice fades)

Tom then hangs up the phone and comes barreling down three flights as fast as he can without falling. He goes past our condo and into the parking lot. I walk out calmly. Tom is looking all over, no old man is in site, he heads back toward his condo and confronts me.

Tom: (confused) You're not going to believe this.. I ordered this pizza..and then this old guy came and then...(looks at me)
Me: (leaning up against post, eating a sandwich. Trying to act as if I'm intrigued by his story.)
Tom:
..And then....and...OH YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

And Cut!

Does anyone else have any good practical jokes stories they want to post? If you do, leave a note in the comments telling us that you've posted it.

40 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

Best practical joke I ever pulled was convincing the world that I didn't exist.

Wait...or was that the Devil's best practical joke? Crap!

Kimmie said...

I love practical jokes!!!

Tova Darling said...

Ha! That's fantastic! I've got nothing that compares with that...

Lisa said...

That is great! I'm sure I must have something but nothing is coming to me just yet.

katrocket said...

That's freaking awesome!

I played this practical joke once on a guy - I sent him a photo of a strip club marquee with the name of his blog on it and told him it was real. He hated me for it afterward. I thought it was funny.

Dr Zibbs said...

Kat - I thought it was funny too but if I ever meet you I'm going to push you into the snow for making me feel like a big dummy.

saratogajean said...

Too good.

The only practical joke I've ever pulled was back when I waited tables. I told one of the gullible waitresses that we were going to start re-using the lemons from people's drinks that they didn't use. I didn't think she'd actually do it, but later on that night I looked at the beverage area to see she had saved about 8 or 9. I had to break down and tell her that she was a dummy and threw all her lemons away before she started giving them to customers.

H said...

I once told my parents (verrrry conservative) that I was a lesbian so that when I told them I was flunking out of school it wouldn't seem so bad. They didn't find it as funny as I did. Hmmm.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I guess I'm too nice to play practical jokes on someone. I leave that up to my brother!

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!

- Jennifer

buffalodick said...

Asshole? Yes. But you are my kind of asshole! Stories? Don't get me started...I'll have to do a post on the time I bought a guy a drink, with a tampon as the swizzle stick...

Candy's daily Dandy said...

HAHAHAHAHA! That is the best ever! Great story!
In order to successfully pull off a practical joke you need to be highly skilled in the art of deception. I didn't get that gene.

Unfortunately for me I got no poker face.

Andrew Rodriguez said...

Ah the days before caller ID!

Some Guy said...

We had a Christmas party growing up and there was a table full of snacky-type finger food. We put out some dry dog food that looked like it could pass for a snack. We covered it in powdered sugar and put it in a fancy silver candy dish and watched as people tried it. The expressions on their faces were priceless. It's an easy one any of you can try yourselves. You can thank me later.

Miss Alex said...

This is sooo mean… but when I was in the 6th grade we woke my brother in a panic (myself and my friend who slept over) We rushed him to get dressed at like 3 am on a Saturday telling him that “Oh my God we’re late for school it’s a solar eclipse” And we walked him to the school in the dark then laughed our asses off… I know…totally rotten …

Dr Zibbs said...

Some Guy - that reminds me of a food related practical joke I did. I'll write about it in another post.
Miss Alex - HAHAHAHAHA! I love it!! How old was he?

H said...

Somehow my post didn't come out right. Dang. Not really a lesbian. You get the point right? Oh well. I guess this won't win as funniest comment 09 either.

Anonymous said...

I think I told you about eating strangers food at a resturant. I think that's about as good as I get.

words words words said...

In college there were these two dickheads that lived in our dorm. When they were both in class a few of us took a Polaroid of their room (yes, kids, back then there were no digital cameras), moved all their furniture and belongings outside onto the lawn, and used the picture to set it up exactly like it was arranged in their dorm room.

There was some blowback...somebody got a dead fish in their radiator, and someone else got a bag of poo in theirs. Good times.

Cora said...

I've got nothin' on that, Zibbs. That's priceless! :-)

Also, Some Guy: awesome idea for the holidays!! I love you! But you and your peanut butter are banned from my house. My curtains mean more to me. Sorry. I can give you directions to my ex-husband's house though if you'd like.

Giggle Pixie said...

Oh, ther are waaaaaaay too many to choose from! And none, I think, as good as yours!!!!!

Caffeine Court said...

Me and my friends told my little sister (when she was about 8) that when you turn 13 your father makes you into a woman. We told her we were doing her a favor, because most girls are surprised by this and at least she had some warning.


Is that considered a practical joke, or sibling abuse?

J.J. in L.A. said...

That was classic! I "love" April Fool's Day and have pulled a ton of pranks over the years. I'll have the best of them posted in a blog for you to read tomorrow.

LegalMist said...

I wrote a short post today about my lame prank phone calls as a kid. If you're interested, check it out: http://legalmist.blogspot.com/2008/11/practical-jokes-and-other-pranks.html

Tony Alva said...

This one is good...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PB-SMAofcj4&feature=related

At West Point, Army/Navy spirit week ahead of the storied game is ripe for pranks. My fav was one the Midshipmen played on an Army instructor teaching at the naval academy decades ago.

The instructor drove a Porsche 944 and it was parked outside his quarters (Mil speak for home). During a pep rally, a mob of middies paraded over to the instructors house with sledgehammers in hand, rang the doorbell, and began smashing the shit out of the guys car.

Once they were done, they drove a new replacement car that they had collected $50-$100 from each Middie. From what I heard the guy was flipping out when they were tearing his car up.

That was ballsy...

Dr Zibbs said...

Caffeine Court - WTF? I'm going to print that out and keep it in my wallet. The next time people tell me that I'm mean, I'm going to whip the comment out and say, "You think I'm bad, well what about this?"

mike said...

This isn't a practical joke, but the blizzard part reminded me of a time me and my friends took a hose and made a snowy walkway into ice. We then went inside and video taped people walking by and wiping out. We weren't sober at all, but it would have been hilarious either way.

Miss Alex said...

My brother was in the 4th grade...haha... i feel so bad now in retrospect as i see he was so young... but i'm just saying that cause I'm older now ... back then it was still good...

Bizarro Zibbs said...

Let's see. In high school, some friends and I told our principal to announce during prayers (Catholic school) to pray for a friend of a student who had been "wounded". Meanwhile, we had spread the rumor that this friend (who was out of school that day) had been knifed in the neck during a gang fight (small, safe, suburban town, mind you - entirely impossible story). Many students were seen crying throughout the day until we admitted the gag sometime after lunch.

Then there was the time I called my old lady at work as someone from NPR and set up an alleged on air interview.

But nothing tops the time I killed Zibbs' dog next Tuesday.

dizzblnd said...

That was too funny. I wish I could be creative like that. I hope Tom learned a lesson from all that.

Gwen said...

Dangit! I had one but then I read Bizarro Zibbs' comment - But nothing tops the time I killed Zibbs' dog next Tuesday. - and I totally forgot it!

I'll come back if I remember.

Dr Zibbs said...

Bizarro Zibbs - first of all, not too shabby. But second of all, why don't you create an original name? Bizarro Zibbs? You're kidding me. Go with Bizarro Z if you're that much in love with me. And for God's sake, start a blog. Cmon.

Bizarro Zibbs said...

My OWN blog?? Aw shucks...

I guess I don't have my own blog because I don't want to be cut out of my bedroom one day in order to be airlifted to the ER after having choked on my pillow (withOUT having dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow) because my mom (the only remaining woman in my life) had a stroke and it was getting seriously close to my third dinnertime.

Obsess much?

I kid but, seriously, I don't need my own blog because after your demise all that is yours will be mine. It's in Revelations.

enc said...

Nope, and I won't try any to top this, either. Nothing can top this.

Kez said...

HA HA HA! Serves him right!
Nice work. You saw an opportunity and you took it. Well played.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Here it is:

http://jjinla.blogspot.com/2008/11/for-that-blue-yak-and-anyone-who-loves.html

Enjoy! And let me know what you think...

slopmaster said...

Jokes?! I do practical jokes. Check some of these suckers out:

http://slopmaster.wordpress.com/2006/11/16/arkansas-road-trip-part-three-election-party-crashing/

http://slopmaster.wordpress.com/2005/09/21/random-work-thoughts-jokes-ive-played-1/

http://slopmaster.wordpress.com/2005/09/23/jokes-ive-played-2/

http://slopmaster.wordpress.com/2005/09/28/jokes-ive-played-3/

ok, I could go on, but you get the idea.

Who likes jokes? THIS GUY!

teri said...

You have nerve?


Would you mind sharing cause I would like to do this to some folks?

Thanks.

MelO said...

I'm all over this... first I just need to type up the post :)

I'll let you know

MelO said...

You inspired me... come check out my blog...

Also I gave up a ton of link love for you :)

Micgar said...

Zibbs that was great! I don't have anything near that! I used to do "prank calls" or "prank answering" with relatives, friends-I would call (yes before caller id) and pretend to be a policeman needing to have a talk about something the person did-or I would answer and say "Domino's Pizza, how can I help you?" Sometimes it worked-sometimes I would lose it and then its gone! I have a sister in law who is so hyper she can call once, and then call back when she remembers something else and finally call again for something else! I made this FBI's Most Wanted "poster" with a real one I copied and pasted and then put her pic in there and called her a "Dangerous Serial Caller" and "Wanted For Various Serial Callings" then I sent that anonymously to her. Not much or prank, but kinda funny!