Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Make Sure You Know How to Order At Geno's Steaks



Blogging about cheesesteaks the other day got me thinking about another practical joke I did. Well, not really a practical joke, more of "pulling of someone's leg" I guess you would call it.

The Scene: Geno's Steaks (Cheesesteaks) in South Philly. It was over a holiday break from college. My friend Flare had brought his friend Woody from Georgetown to stay over his house for the weekend. After a night of drinking, we end up at Geno's Steaks in South Philly.

If you've never been to Geno's Steaks, it's a cheesesteak stand. At 3:00 on a Saturday night there can be 50-100 drunk people in line so you have to be prepared to order quickly. And if you don't order correctly they get pissed and yell at you. I can't stress enough that these people have no sense of humor. Think Soup Nazi but Italian and 300 pounds.

A correct way to order would be like this: Large steak wit wiz and onions (this means with cheese wiz and onions) and a large coke. The second after ordering you then walk down the line to pick up your order. When you're ordering, you have a pissed off thug looking back at you through a tiny window.

So Woody's heard what the ordering is like. He's a bit nervous about ordering so I explain the whole thing. Then, this happens right before he gets to the window:

Me: ..oh yeah. And there's one more thing. If you say, "City of Brotherly Love", you get free fries.
Woody: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Cheesesteak Nazi: NEXT!
Woody: (Leans toward window nervously and starts order) ..Um yes...I'll have a large cheesesteak wit onions and wiz and a small coke. City of Brotherly Love.
Cheesesteak Nazi: (yelling order to cook) Large cheese wit onion and wiz!.....NEXT!
Me: He didn't hear you say the end part.
Woody: City of Brotherly Love.
Cheesesteak Nazi: (getting annoyed at Woody)..OK buddy ..NEXT!
Me: (Out of the corner of my mouth) No. You've got to yell it to the guy cooking or it won't count.
Woody: (leans his head inside the window) CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE! EXCUSE ME..CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE!
Cheesesteak Nazi: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!...NEXT!

Everyone inside and outside the place is looking at Woody. We move down the line to pick up our order. Woody looks a bit confused as to why everyone is looking at him.

Me: Oh yeah. I just remembered. That thing about the brotherly love? I just made that up.

35 comments:

Poobomber said...

I thought THIS was going to be the entry that you announced that you and I were going to be BFF's!

Damnit, you psyched me right out.

Falwless said...

HAHAHAHAHA

Nice one. I can see perfectly in my mind's eye.

Red said...

That is hilarious. Ah, making people look dumb is ever so much fun.

H said...

Right after you did that I would have kicked you in the balls and eaten your cheesesteak sandwich while standing over you and letting the cheeswiz drip onto your fetal shaped body below me.

Now that would have been funny!!

enc said...

You are E-vil.

Giggle Pixie said...

Okay, so going out to a restaurant with you is definitely out.

:-)

Cora said...

You have a friend named Flare?!

So, my Showering-Buck-Naked-With-Nurses post that I promised you is now up. Enjoy.

Vodka Mom said...

you are a bastard, aren't you???????

Anonymous said...

Dalessandro's steaks in Roxborough has the best cheese steaks in town,
http://www.yelp.com/biz/dalessandros-steaks-philadelphia
& I've been to Geno's and Pat's once and won't go back bc their steaks are gross... but I will always go back to Lorenzo's another Philadelphia mainstay with attitude for pizza, because its good... And I have learned what to order, 2 slices & a coke... no topping options, no sizes, AND YES THEY HAVE ATTITUDE BUT ITS WORTH IT.

Kez said...

OK so you are just too good. Very funny!

Megan said...

I don't know if I would have forgiven you for that.

Dr Zibbs said...

Megan - you think that's bad? I'm just getting warmed up.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Cheese Wiz??? Ick. Although your practical joke reminded me of when my MN cousin told my CA brothers there was a bug repellent in shot form. They actually asked her if they needed an appointment for it.

kirby said...

Is that the place that hates people who don't order in English? You should have told your friend to order in Spanish. That would have been HILARIOUS.

sista #2 said...

No matter how many you have ordered in your life, when you get to the Nazi....you get brainfreeze, forget your order and they yell at you.

Not that that EVER happen to me. Just saying.

peace
#2

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO @ Kirby....you're both funny!

Mrs.D said...

lol, I have heard of this Geno guy.

And cheesesteak sound soooo delish right now.

Mrs.D said...

lol, I have heard of this Geno guy.

And cheesesteak sound soooo delish right now.

Suze said...

Oh I love Geno's. We spent many a drunken....I mean....Saturday night eating there. Do you think you could mail me some...like tonight?

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

Did you ever see Woody again?

Chele said...

oh this is genius, I love it. I can totally see my friends and I pulling this prank as well. I love pranks.

I also really need to try a philly Cheesesteak, they sound good.

words words words said...

I love how anytime anyone mentions cheesesteaks, everyone pipes up and says, "Oh, don't go to X, they suck. You have to go to Y, those are the best." I do it, too.

Oh, and very late with this, but I don't know any of those guys you mentioned. I don't know a lot of Philly people out here.

Philly said...

I usually practice saying my order while in line. I still screw it up. They yell at me.

#1

buffalodick said...

I was in Philly once as an adult. It took me a while, but I figured out "Fu*k you" meant "Good Morning"...

Jon said...

I've never been to Geno's, but have always wanted to go there. Maybe someday.

Dr Zibbs said...

Lee the Mwob Queen - The next time I saw Woody was at 2 days later at his funeral. He died of a broken heart. I respectfully laid a grease stained napkin in his casket with the touching phrase, "Don't be so stupid next time" written on it.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You are evil and must be destroyed.

Kimmie said...

Ohhhh my God! I'm pissing myself! You're going to hell!

And now they yell at your for ordering your drink/fries at the "cheesesteak" window. There is a second window for drinks and fries only. If you even attempt this at the 1st window, you get your ass handed to you.

Anonymous said...

philly keeps it real & that's why I live here. I hate bullshitters.

Micgar said...

waddaya tryna do- get someone wacked or sumtin'!?

Caffeine Court said...

Hilarious. My friend Liz lived a block from there so we made many drunken trips to Geno's in college.

I played a joke on Liz that she discovered about 15 years after I played it on her. I told her that Jesus's middle name is Horatio. As in Jesus H. Christ. She actually believed me and discovered I was lying after she got into a huge debate about it with someone at her job!!! DUH!

I think SOMEONE needs to go to church more often!

Chris said...

You are killing me today. I have been laughing my ass off for the past few minutes and my 9 y/o is asking what I am reading.

I'm not telling him, I might take him to Geno's one day.

Dr Zibbs said...

Chris - thanks. That's my goal.

lostaccident said...

funny. but why go to geno's when pat's is right across the street?

ric said...

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