Thursday, November 6, 2008

Random Things About Blogs And Some Questions

Here are just a few random things about blogs. Feel free to add to the discussion.

- Numbers - I'm sure most people are using Google Analytics but if you're not, it's the best free tool for tracking your blog traffic. You can even see how many times the stalkers are visiting your site.

- Cash - Is anybody making any money off of advertising on their blogs? If so, how much and what tips can you offer? I just signed up with You can pick the advertisers that you want to advertise with. So I'm kindly asking everyone to consider doing their Kwanzaa shopping here.

- Hits - Who wants to share how much traffic they're getting? My biggest week was last week with 1700 visits. Shouldn't this be way more given how great this blog is?

- Traffic -My traffic started increasing in June when I started commenting on multiple blogs.

- Spelling and Grammar - Are many people really bothered by the crappy grammar and spelling on this blog? I swear I proof read and spell check but I guess I get so excited about letting everyone read the brilliance that I've created, I don't want you to have to wait any longer. And for the record, when I see errors on other blogs, I do think to myself, "Look at this dumb ass."

- Sadness - Has anyone ever hoped to read a blog post of mine but then you realized that I haven't posted anything new? Did you ever cry or come close to crying when this happened? Be honest.

- Comments - I'm sure some people have printed out a post of mine and framed it but has anyone ever seen and printed any of the hysterical comments I leave on other blogs? And if you have, do you find that they're best displayed in groups, spread throughout the home, or hung so your guests can read them while walking up your stairs?


The Vegetable Assassin said...

I like the collage effect. You know, randomly placed snippets of your best work interspersed with photos (like the boobs in the entry below) and preferably the text printed in varying shades of blue (for That Blue Yak you see?) It looks very artsy. I mean it WOULD. You know, if I did that.


Falwless said...

You know, for what it's worth, you deserve all of this traffic and thousands more, lover. You are seriously motherfucking funny. Remember when I first came over here and there was like 1 or 2 commenters on each post? And I was like, "What the fuck is this blog about? I don't get it." ?? But then I wrote a post on MY blog and.. well, what I am trying to say is that it's pretty obvious who you should thank for this newfound popularity. And it's not baby Jesus.

Falwless said...

And it's not Corky.

Falwless said...

Though it might be your dance fighters.

Falwless said...

And I used to get a little less than that traffic weekly. But then my blog went down the toilet with my utter laziness and I'm racking up upwards of 12 hits a day now (margin of error: 12). Kidding. I don't know how many I get, I'm too scared to check anymore.

Hey I wonder how many comments I can leave on this post. This makes like eight or something.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'm making money off my blog but I reinvest it back into the blog so I pass the savings on to you my readers.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

I'm making approximately 2 cents a month from my blog, which is about right, I reckon.

MelO said...

Hi Dr. Zibbs... I don't think you've ever said anything funny over on my blog... what's up with that?!

Dr Zibbs said...

Vegetable Assassin - thanks for the tips and welcome to tge best blog.
Falwless - you are correct. I was looking for the post you're talking about where you say, "..I seriously don't know what the F this guy is talking about but I'm laughing my ass off.." Thanks.
Melo - I thought you were sensitive to jokes.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Wow Zibzy, I SWEAR to you I wrote my post for today last night! Weird, we must be chanelling each other "cosmic"-ly. Good thing I checked you before I posted. Check it out- and help me out!

saratogajean said...

I am addicted to my Stat Counter. It's like I'm stalking myself.

And yes...I cry when I find myself at your site with nothing new to read. It's akin to being in the bathroom with no reading material.

Gwen said...

I avoid the sadness by using Google Reader. It tells me when you've said something new and hilarious.

Sass said...

I have Google Analytics, but am too dense to figure it all out.

You know I have advertising, and my first check'll be about 150 dollars, and that took two months. I signed up with shareasale, too, but haven't used it yet.

My traffic increases when I'm funny or tell stories about fingering. Go finger, er I mean, figure.

Spelling and Grammar matter to a point, but the few mistakes you make don't take away from your supreme hilarity.

I used to always look forward to your hilarious comments. *sniff sniff* Lately, nothing. Maybe today's post will be about the dream I had last night that actually (swear to all things unholy) featured you last night. Who knows.

Sass said...

Geez...reading my last I redundant much? Last night last night.

What were we saying about proofreading?

Jennifer and Sandi said...

So you get pissed when we misspell? Well shit... Don't make me go back to English Class PLEASE!!!

- Jennifer

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Oh and I'm a huge fan of Static Counter. It Works GREAT. You can label IP's of ppl(sp) that are stalking you and shows a lot of information on paths etc...

- Jennifer

Falwless said...

WAIT A SECOND. HALT. BACK UP. SASS - You made $150 for two months just by putting ads on your blog? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

:::hurriedly scrambling to add ads everywhere on my blog:::

Holy crap! I thought that stuff would make, like, $1.00 every four months, that's why I didn't bother with it!

Queen Goob said...

Make money?!?!? I have to pay to blood, sweat, and tears, I might add.

I don't get the amount of traffic that you do; maybe I set up my analytics wrong.

Or maybe my blog just sucks.

Naaaaahhhhh, I must have set it up wrong.

Sass said...

Yes, falw. . . I did.

But I also got in trouble with the Google police for telling people to click on them. hee hee.

I'm seriously a bandit. A rebel. La bandita. Yup.

Poobomber said...

I use different stats packages for different things - Sitemeter was woefully inadequate, so I plugged in Google Analytics (which I never check any more) for looking at the big picture, then another program called Twatch which I use most often which gives me exactly what I want.

As for advertising, I hooked up shareasale, but I hate like hell to advertise anything, I feel like a sellout when I do that plus shareasale doesn't have all that much that I'd be interested in advertising - if I don't like it myself, I won't display it. Maybe I should be more loose? But if I ever make enough to pay for my web hosting, I'll be happy. Right now I'm at $0, I think. I'd rather not commercialize anything unless I have to.

Traffic & hits: Subjective at best. But I'm probably going to get 12000 page hits this month with 4316 unique visitors. But that includes a bunch of nonsense like image searchers (not spiders though). If I have 20 regular steady readers, I'm ultimately happy. In the end, I'll just keep writing anyways, regardless if anyone comes or not.

Last, spelling and grammar only REALLY matter to me when the writer is pretentious or idiotic. You sir, are neither.

Falwless said...

Hahahahaha, I guess that's against the rules, huh? AWESOME. That's insane, though, I never thought that crap really truly made people money!

You've changed my life. I'm not sure how yet but I will let you know.

Some Guy said...

I actually prefer StatCounter for my statistical needs (I have used Google Analytics, too). It seems like it's much more detailed. For example, it tells me what people are wearing when they read my blog. Seriously, some of you people are pretty depraved.

Dr Zibbs said...

Sass - what exactly did Google say to you?
Poobomber - Thanks for saying that I'm not idiotic but as you think that I'm not pretentious, I must say that you're idiotic. But I mean that in a very nice way.
Falwless - I know you're running around your office screaming, "I'm gonna be rich! Rich I tells YA!"

Sass said...

Zibbs...they said something along the lines of, "don't tell people to click. if you do, we'll spank you."

Or at least, that's what I read anyway.

So I removed all the posts that had anything to do with me whoring, I mean begging.

Sass said...

Is it wrong that I love the word Twatch?

B.E. Earl said...

All good topics/questions.

I don't use a stat counter site anymore. When I first started using one I was obsessed with it. Then I got bored with it. Then I hated it. I finally scrapped it. The stats lie, you know. I'm perfectly happy with the number of folks who read me now because if it were any more I would feel obligated to read their blogs and I already have too many reads in my feed reader.

As for the cash thing? Feh. I don't like advertising on personal blogs and I would never, ever click on an ad in one. I just can't reconcile the need for it. Especially since most of the blogs I read that use ads complain that they don't really make any money at all. If you pay for web-hosting, I can kinda see it to help defray that cost, but Blogger is a free I say nay.

LegalMist said...

Spellign and garmmer so not importnt ina humerus blogg like dis.

We luv ya Dr. Z. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Whiskeymarie said...

I used to be obsessed with my stat counter, but I honestly only check it once every two weeks or so now. My traffic is still pretty good these days even with my lame ass & sporadic posting. But really? I'm happy if anyone is there at all.

When my traffic really started going up, I thought about putting advertising on my blog. I know I'd make money at it, but I'm having a hard time being o.k. with it. It doesn't bother me too much on other people's blogs (unless it's all over the place and distracting), but I'm still on the fence with this one.

I don't give a crap about spelling and grammar as I rarely put together sentences without 14 errors in them. Whatever. If people want proofread perfection they can read the wall street Journal or Dog Fancy magazine. I had someone snottily correct my spelling in a comment once and I basically told them to fuck off.

But that's just me.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

This post reminded me to check on my Google Ads, which I haven't done in a while. I think I set this up in the summer of last year and I've made $4.16 since then. Let the good times roll!

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

I made $150 last week for putting up a couple of small ads on my sidebar. E-mail me if you're interested and I'll give you the company's contact info. They asked me for referals.

You'd probably make a hell of lot more than me considering your traffic.

The catch?
You have to pay me $10 if they use you. I know, that's harsh, but a girl has to pay the bills!

Kristin said...

Will you hate me if I say that YES, spelling and grammar matter?

I'll qualify that by saying they matter to ME. But I'm a professional editor. And I never, ever point out other people's errors (unless they ask me to--and, preferably, pay me). And if I will even read your blog, that means that you're doing pretty well, because if the errors are too numerous, then I will not be able to read your stuff, no matter how funny or interesting. So you're doing pretty well.

You probably still hate me, though.

gorillabuns said...

i don't make money (unless you count $10 every three months, something) and i don't care about grammar. i wonder why my stats aren't the best....

Chris said...

I will have to check out the Google thing. I've just been using site meter. I had the premium version for a while with all the bells and whistles reports, but I found that I really didn't look at them much after the first week or two.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Yeah, I really just don't care that much. At first I was all excited by seeing how many people checked my blog, but then I realized it Also Included Me, checking my own blog to see how many people had checked me out. And then I realized that I'm way too busy checking other people's blogs to actually have mine count for anything. Add that I work full time, and have a kid, and am constantly adding new people to the blogs I follow - I pretty much have no time to even write a post anymore. You're lucky if I even have a minute to leave you a comment. That's right, You Are Lucky! But it's only because I <3 you.

sista #2 said...

You want traffic??? I'll give you traffic!!!!!

I don't know why you don't have a flock of readers each day....I think you are a riot ....but then again, I live in the fucking bible belt....what do i know?


enc said...

I print out every comment you write on my blog, Zibbo, and I copied and pasted that nickname you gave me into another file so I'd never forget it.

I am so dedicated to your blog that I've got you in my Google Reader so I don't miss a word.

Scope said...

Dr. Zibbs

I know I'm late to the party and all, but I'm gnu to this rodeo, so forgive. I'm reading back posting, and well…

Stats – Obviously, I have none.

Cash – I even hate wearing logos on shirts and jackets, etc. No judgment on people making other choices, but I can't do it. It's not for me.

Spelling & Grammar – I can't spell my way out of a paper saqu. Whenever possible, I compose in Word. That doesn't catch everything, but it helps. To cover for the unintentional, I sometimes make the intentional error, i.e. 'gnu/new' or 'carp/crap'. But one of my biggest pet peeves with American English is demonstrated in the previous sentence. The period belongs outside the quotes. I am not "quoting" someone, I'm using a literal. As such, the period does not belong. Which sentence would you rather read:

To disarm the bomb, enter the password "97yW!n."
To disarm the bomb, enter the password '97yW!n'.

That's what I'm sayin'.

I write code for a living. I had a boss one time "correct" all my documentation because I put the punctuation outside the literal strings. So, I went to the Chicago Manual of Style (because I'm a dick) found that if you use single quotes, it's acceptable, and emailed him a copy of the page.

Comments – Printing out your comments? I'm thinking of using a giant 'laser' and etching them on the face of the moon. Then that will give me an excuse to use my graviton pulse oscillator to shake the moon like a giant Etch-A-Sketch to refresh the surface between postings.