THAT BLUE YAK Merch Is Available To The Public. Shirts.

Yesterday one of my favorite new followers (and cutie pie) Suze said in the comments area: "I want a 'That Blue Yak' mug. I love this blog."

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Well guess what? I DO have product for sale. And you can get it by following this link.

And note that a portion of the proceeds go to my beer money. But on a serious note, it's not just my job to promote this blog. It's YOURS. The reader. You're getting all of this for free. So I'm encouraging you all to write: "GOOGLE THIS: THAT BLUE YAK" on some dollars bills right now. And remember this post where I wrote that on money and my nephew got it and figured out I had a blog?  Man what were the odds of THAT happening??

OK. Now go buy some TBY product! And if you buy something and send me a picture with it I'll write a post about you and how great you and your blog are*. If you don't want your face shown in the picture put a bag over your head or something. Alright? Good. 

Enjoy your day.

*Limited to the first 50 people.

Collectible Dollar Bill From Chester County May Be Headed for Smithsonian.

OK this is really weird. Last week, in another shameless attempt to promote my blog, I wrote,

Google this: THAT BLUE YAK

on three or four dollar bills. I mean...uh....I didn't do it because it's against the law - I saw someone else do it. Yeah that's what happened...

So anyways, my sister calls me this weekend and said her son (my nephew) received a tip at the Country Club he works at, saw the command to Google THAT BLUE YAK, saw the post I wrote about the Downingtown Farmer's Market and realized it was my blog because he's heard the story before.

What are the odds of that happening?

And to my nephew: STOP READING MY BLOG.

And to everyone else, let me know if you can write this phrase on a few bills this morning. Also, is it REALLY illegal to deface money? Has there ever been a case of someone being prosecuted? My one minute Google search is very unclear on this. Maybe one of my readers that has nothing important to do can find this out for me. (That's right, turn off The View and get to work!)

And if you do see a bill labeled this way, please do not try to sell it to the Smithsonian, or a collector or frame it. I'd really like to keep them in circulation as long as possible.

West Chester Blogger Reminds Readers About Stuff

Hey. TBY readers that have been around since July 2008. Remember that time that I wrote that really funny post about buying stuff like t-shirts and mugs that had "That Blue Yak" written on it? And I described the proper way to show people the shirt? Oh yeah. That was a good one. And those comments were classic.

For some reason though, my accountant hasn't given me the final numbers as to how many of these beauties flew off the shelves*. Imagine that task. No thanks. Anyways, even though you guys are the Gold Member Readers of my blog, I thought I'd give the newer readers, the Silver Members (readers since September 1), a chance to read this post.

So click here and start shopping. Imagine the look Christmas morning if you received one of these. Go ahead. Look out the window and really imagine it. It feels good doesn't it?

* True story that I forgot to tell you: Look in the comments of the July 29th post and read what Anonymous wrote. Remember the early days of Anonymous? Well, when I met him in person in West Chester, he said that conversation with his wife really happened! I shit you not.

Blogger Proudly Announces Winners of Blog Contest

So originally I was going to have 1 winner for The That Blue Yak Google This Contest and 2nd and 3rd winners. Instead. Since the pictures I received were so great, I will be having 1 grand prize winner, which will be announced later today or tomorrow and 6 runner ups.

The contest rules were simple, to write "Google this: That Blue Yak" on something and send me the photo. I don't know about you guys, but when I tell people about my blog and I throw in the "blogspot.com", it just confuses people. So I just tell them to Google "that blue yak." It's much easier.

Enough of that. On to runner ups that will be receiving shitty prizes via mail. Please remember to email me your mailing address. Also, don't forget to click on each one to enlarge. And oh yeah. As I own the rights to these photos, I'm allowing all of my readers to do as they wish with them. I'm not kidding. If you want to print them out and tape them to your cars, safety pin them to your shirts, be my guest. It's my gift to you.

Here we go.

Katrocket with "Filmore's Hotel". Even though she told me it was real, I wasn't sure. I still love it. And note that it's a gentleman's club. Mmm hmmm. (Seriously Katrocket, is this a photo shop job?)

Meadowlark from Just Wandering Through - another new reader, she found my blog through Jennifer's blog. I love this one. Look at the skull and the proud gold man trophy, leaping..as if jumping toward a dream...both regally displayed atop a plain, brown cardboard box. I dub thee, "Dreams..Be it."

Fancy Schmancy - my good blog friend comes through with a creation I'm calling "Hungry Yak " AKA, "Sweet Yak..Let Me Come Hither Within Yawls Loins."

Ms. Florida Transplant from the blog Just a Girl...And Her Dogs - I like to call this simply, "The Beach." Rumor has is that the local authorities built huge sandbags around this masterpiece. Can you blame them?

My Blog Is About Nothing - This reader submitted "Kiss My Yak - the Gnome Files." This new reader really stepped up to the plate. Putting my older readers to shame. Making me realize that there are a lot of free loaders in this world.

Jennifer from Minnesota Vs Texas - a little number I like to call "Very Short Lady with a Tacky Hat Looking at Yak on Wall." Thanks Jennifer.

So there you go.

These are the runner up winners. As for the first place winner, I have to tell you that it is so great, so earth shattering and titillating that you will not believe it. I'm not making this up! I might as well make it my desk top picture because I've had to open the file and view it no less than 50 times.

Just wait. You'll see.

I'm Having A Blog Contest. With REAL Prizes!

Remember back on July 24th when I ordered my readers to promote my blog? And then Gwen and Falwless made this really cool retard Slavic button ? Man that was great!

Well now that we're into the 4th quarter, I think it's time to announce another call for action - but this time it's a CONTEST! You read that correctly. I hereby announce the THAT BLUE YAK Google This Contest. Here's how it works:

- Write: Google This: "That Blue Yak" on paper or on any surface you wish (body parts?).
- Take a photo of it.
- Email it to me at Lebner1@yahoo.com by Friday, Oct 31, 2008. Put "YAK GOOGLE CONTEST" in subject line. Image should be jpg. or gif. file format.
- The coolest, most original photo will win a real life prize that will be mailed to them. 2nd and 3rd place will also win but prizes will be much shittier. You can leave your address in the email or wait to see if you win. It doesn't matter to me.

A few tips and ideas:
- take picture with something regional in the picture (ie. French readers can be kicking the Eiffel Tower)
- take a picture of your workspace (maybe with you giving the finger to your boss?)
- Take a picture showing how you've decorated the front "yard" of your trailer.

Just remember this needs to appear in the photo:

Google this:

"That Blue Yak"

And just a note that I have some really lazy readers so you have very good odds of being a winner!

Behold My Retarded Blogger Button Gift

OK. Here's the THAT BLUE YAK promotion button that I was telling you about here. Isn't she a beauty the way she flashes a message? And just when you think it can't get better, a masked retarded chap pops up with some more important information. If this ain't art, I don't know what is:

Retard and Slavic Button - The Greatest Gift of All

Could you imagine if you had Nana Zibbs, mixed in her native language then added a dash of a costumed retard - all in the name of promoting my blog? Just like the story of Jesus rising from the ashes - another magical day has arrived.

When I told readers of this blog that they had to help me promote my blog, I didn't even threaten them by implying that I might start charging a subscription fee to read my blog. They took the order at face value and got to work. To see the glorious miracle visit Lots Better Then Your Blog and Everything I like Causes Cancer.

Thank you Falwless and Gwen. If I was indeed magical, I would jump on my magical steed and gallop to pick you both up. I'd walk into your factory jobs and carry you out like on Officer and a Gentleman . I'd then rent out a middle school gym for a ceremony and personally give you ribbons that said, "Best That Blue Yak Promotion Using a Retarded Person and a Slavic Language". Then I'd make you both feel special by throwing a bunch of rose petals on you and rub girly lotions on you (including "sensitive areas"). Next, I'd give you each a very expensive gift basket and then take you to a classy area restaurant - and let you order anything on the menu.

Now I just have to figure out how to get it on my site.

My Blog on The Wheel of Fortune? Aww Shucks

OK, I don't know if this is the handiwork of Falwless or Gwen, but when I was flipping through the channels last night I saw that SOMEONE is following my detailed instructions (say: orders) for promoting my blog. Even though I hate the Wheel of Fortune I appreciate it. Very cute.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Which Bloggers Have The Right Stuff To Spend The Time To Promote Me?

Wouldn't it be great if my blog went from one of the most visited sites on the Internet to THE most visited? Next thing you know, I'm the 3 legged race partner with Jeff Bezos at the Fat Cat Internet picnic they probably have. Then - I'm telling a joke about the Internet which ends with the punch line, "No, Maam' I said wiki "PEDIA", (as I lean over and shake my head demeaningly in the face of the Overstock.com girl.) This is gonna be great.

And you can bet I'm not going to forget you little buggers - my loyal readers - who are going to help me get there. I'll probably even consider buying a big assed building that'll make Google headquarters look like a God damn shanty town. In the meantime, you people need to get to work. Use the Google maps to find central state that you can meet so you can begin working on promotional items. I'd welcome you to West Chester, but there are certain zoning issues concerning letting people of a certain ilk into our pristine borders. As for the promo items, just remember that things have be top notch or we're all going to look stupid.

I can just see it now, Falwless is working on a banner that says, "That Blue Yak - It'll Get Ya". Meanwhile, McGone and Gwen are busy making buttons - "hey, watch your fingers you guys." Whose that over there? - It's Whiskey Marie and newcomer Alice working on some posters - "'Hey guys, ease up on the glitter -we need to save some for the float!"

Here are a few other things I'm telling you that you have to do:

- Cut out small pieces of paper that say, "Now that I've got your attention, check out the blog 'That Blue Yak' - just google those 3 words." (I need thousands of these spread throughout the important cities - NOW). Feel free to take picture of your handiwork and send them to me. This will be proof that you're not lazily sitting on your asses watching TV shows that - frankly - aren't going to get any of us anywhere. Make a contest out of it with yourself. Challenge yourselves.

- While hearing a bore ass telling a stupid story at a party, push your hand in his face then address the listener, "That guy is boring - That Blue Yak isn't. He wrote a story about how to buy a great gift."

- Whenever the topic of politics comes up, cup your hands to help with voice projection and say, "Politics Smolitics - take this piece of paper that shows a hyperlink to a hyperfunny post about Presidential coins - courtesy of That Blue Yak

- Someone is going to have to die...OK..it's a bit early to be introducing this part yet.

What other imaginative ways can you think of to promote the mighty blog of Dr Zibbs? Let's share. Remember, you're only going to get out of it what you put into it. Finally, to keep yourselves motivated, one of you may receive a prerecorded thank you call from me. Hmmmmmm? Hmmmmm? And one more thing - don't fail.

Idea I'm Considering For Frazer Hoover Vacuum Store

Last week while getting my fix of lobster bisque at Zoup in Frazer, I was walking by the Hoover Vacuum store and look at this little character that caught my eye. I'm totally going back there because could you imagine if you put this guy - lets call him Hubert the Hoover Guy - OUTSIDE of the shop instead of INSIDE the shop????? Then you could use a Mr Microphone to totally drive sales INTO your store. Here are some of the notes I scribbled on a napkin about it:

- Every half hour, put on a five minute "show".
- Offer to do the show until the workers can do the imitation of Hubert the correct way - it's like: "Whutch dish shing?" (that's him saying, "what's this thing") - try it -say it aloud. There you go. See what I mean?
- Rig something up so when he talks, you can shake him a little bit so it looks realistic when he's talking. Consider hiding in a big vacumm cleaner box and cutting a hole so you can shake him without being seen. Put a sticker on the box that says, "Special Delivery" and the correct date. This way, when people see the date, it won't give things away.
- Consider rope gates around him so people don't get too close to the big box.
- Say things to people like, "That trash can over there is dirty but we can vacuum your home up and make it clean" or something like that - I'm still working on that one.

Anyway, I'm gonna look stupid if I just walk in there and give them that idea but I was thinking maybe you guys could call the store. Just say, "Hey that puppet should be on the outside of the store". There's no way they'll do it on their own because you don't just throw it out there willy nilly and make things happen. It's a daunting task. But then when I walk in and explain that I've done all of the creative leg work (see list above), then they might bite.

I'm not getting too excited but if I could get this off the ground regionally, I don't think I'm too out of line saying that this could be a full national rollout. Wouldn't it be nice to be on the ground floor of this thing? OK then, start dialing and let me know what they say.