That Blue Yak: top 10

Showing posts with label top 10. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Here's What I Want For My Jan 8 Birthday

I'm sure you've all marked down on your calendars that my birthday is January 8th (Thursday) but have you gotten me a gift yet? I have an idea for a gift. I'd like to have my biggest traffic week this week so I'm asking everyone to send a mass email out to your friends and tell them something like this*:

Hey friend, I'm not sure you read blogs at all, but the best one in the world is THAT BLUE YAK. Check it out. Simply Google this: That Blue Yak.

And here are links to some of his funniest posts:

Real Sex Talk From My Dad

Top 10 Things I Need To Know About Carny Housing

The Chris Burke Birthday Post

I'm Totally Picking A Dance Fight This Weekend

West Chester Blogger Considers Testing Out A Skull Topped Walking Stick

West Chester Blogger Invents Drinking Parlour Game

Hopefully Philly Heat Won't Kill Any Old People **

Pear Body Shape - Let's Get Learnin'

Gypsy Foot Care Factory Opens Up Shop In Chester County

Valentine's Day Tips From Humble Fork Lift Operator

Other ideas for January 8: Send me nude or revealing pictures. I'm discreet. Write a post about me. Leave a message on my Snapvine recorder (long distance charges apply as Fancy Schmancy has informed me so make sure you have long distance or use your cell phone).

*If you send out a mass email, let me know in the comments.
** I forgot how much this post made me laugh.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Yikes - 100 Things To Do Before You Die Author Dies

Dave Freeman, the author of 100 Things To Do Before You Die, died today. He was only 47. He died after hitting his head on the floor in his home. This is not only unfortunate for him, but for me because I don't even have a bucket list! That's it. I'm starting one now. Freestyle. No editing. Here are the top 10 I'm making up:

1) Have hardwood floors in my home covered in foam or feathers.

2) Make and eat the first Ostrich-tur-duck-en-hen-shrimp. (It's like a Turducken but has an ostrich as it's outer shell, and inside the chicken can be found a cornish game hen and a plump juicy shrimp - paint a smiley face on the shrimp as a sign of accomplishment and to add a bit of whimsy to the meal).

3) Fake my death and then when someone is talking about me jump up and say, "AHAAAA!"

4) Make love to a tree.

5) Walk up to people that are in the middle of a conversation and get 2 inches from their faces and start start saying, "BABABABABABA".

When they say, "This is preposterous".

Say, "No your face is" and judo flip them.

6) Spit on a camel.

7) Run with the bulls but instead of bulls, use people with deformed hands and instead of running, ride a motor cycle. And instead of them chasing me, chase them.

8) Be on a sitcom and have a catch phrase like, "I've heard of boners but this is ridiculous" (look at camera and cross eyes).

9) Find the most boring lecture happening nearby and when the guy is talking, walk up and kick him in the nuts. Then say, "Time to take out the garbage" and have two muscle men carry him out. Look at crowd and shrug shoulders. Pause for laughter.

10) Tell someone that is a part-time paranormalist that I'm going to give them funding to go full time. Then, after they quit their job and ask for the money, tell them, "Sorry, a ghost ate it."