Bringing Gerbils to the Vet?? What???

So I hear my wife answer the door the other day. It was someone dropping off some girl scout info for my daughter. I hear the woman say, "Sorry, I have to run, I've got the gerbil in the car. We just brought him back from the Vet."

What????

I bet in Vet school there's at least an hour discussion of do's and don'ts concerning how to handle the nonsense of someone bringing in a gerbil.

Don't - in a demeaning way say, "Does your husband know that you're wasting money on this bullshit?"

Do - after "fixing" the gerbil say, "Now when was the last time your fish have been in for a physical?"

Don't toss the gerbil into the trash and hand them directions to Pet Smart.

Do make them feel less stupid by saying, "Oh you brought a GERBIL here. I thought the nurse said you brought a FROG here. How ridiculous would that be? A frog? Not you though - you brought a gerbil. There is nothing - I repeat nothing wrong or dumb with what YOU did. Now where is the little guy? (shaking head) A frog...sorry...can't get over that one.

Don't take the gerbil into another room, spray paint a new gerbil haphazardly to match the sick gerbil, then hand the new gerbil to the owners and arrogantly say, "NEXT!"

My Friend Sass - The Blog Fundraiser

I will now have a fund raiser for one of my favorite bloggers: Sass. Her blog is called Are you Satisfied? We all know that visits, comments and followers are the currency in the land of blogs. So in an effort to help each other increase the number of followers, I'm asking all of you to go to her blog and click, "FOLLOW THIS BLOG" on her sidebar. It's as simple as that. I'm sure you'll find her really interesting. I do.

The great thing about following a blog is that the posts will automatically be updated in your reader so you never miss a precious post. It's also good advertising for your blog because people will see that you follow a blog and then will check out your blog. I do it all the time and look how famous I am.

So go ahead, go to Sass's blog and add her as a follower. She's one cool chick. Thanks friend.

Chester County Blogger Tells Who Will Win Eagles Cardinals Game

As you know, I've successfully predicted the ending of the last two Eagles football games. I will now tell you who will win. It will be the Philadelphia Eagles. My senses are telling me that the score will be 17-9. Philly.

And here's what I'll be eating while watching. Make yourself a peanut butter and jelly and pretend that you're sitting there with me watching the game.

- Chicken wings - five different styles.

- Garlic and Feta stuffed olives.

- Pizza baguette - I will make this simply my putting tomato sauce, roasted garlic, pepperoni and mozzarella cheese on fresh baked banquette and broil it.

I will be drinking Yuengling lager - unfortunately - and may have a bourbon and water around half time.

What are you eating while you watch the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Phoenix Cardinals?

West Chester, PA , East, Henderson, Hangouts

This video is mostly for the West Chester locals. It's a video that someone made for the East High School Class of 1988 reunion. As a graduate of the superior high school - Henderson - I will say that it's pretty good work for someone that went to East.

Some of the local hangouts shown are: The Exton Drive-In, The DK Diner, The Guernsey Cow, The Goshen Fair, Pulsations, Price Street Burger King and Jimmy John's*. Oh the memories. To view it, click here. What memories do YOU have of these places? Hmmm?

The one obvious place that's not shown is The Downingtown Farmers Market. If anyone has pictures of that dump, please, please post them online and leave a link in the comments section. I'm begging you!

*And good bye to artist Andrew Wyeth. A Chadds Ford resident who ate at Jimmy John's many times.

Obama Train To Washington - Not Georgia

Greetings web surfer of the world wide Internet of the webs. Were you searching for Obama's train route from Philadelphia to Washington that CNN is talking about on the TV right now? Sure you were.

Hi. I'm the Internet's Dr Zibbs. You may have heard of of me. Well take a break from your road to the Whitehouse inauguration watching and check out this other train related thing: The Midnight Train To Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips.

I wish I could have those Pips follow me around for a week and just repeat everything I said like they do in this song. And I would just pretend I didn't know they were there. How great would that be? Mmmmm-hmmmm. Pretty great. To view it, click here. And if you want to see an Obama lookalike dancing on Soul Train, click here.

Popeye, Gumby and Zippo Lighters

Did you know that Popeye made it's first appearance in the comics on this day in 1929? Yup. And to tell you the truth I never really liked Popeye. I did however like the Sea Hag and Alice the Goon that were on the Popeye cartoon. In fact, that weird chin that the Sea Hag sports is one of my favorite features that some old people get. I hope I never look like that.

I do have a Popeye Zippo lighter so I guess I don't dislike it that much.

A show that reminds me of Popeye is Gumby. The reason is because when I was a kid waiting for the bus, it was either Popeye or Gumby that would be the animation that was showed during Philly's Captain Noah Show....or was it during the Captain Kangaroo Show? I forget. Anyways, here's the theme to Gumby. After making sure nobody's listening, sing along!

The Faces - What Happened Rod Stewart?

Rod Stewart used to be cool. His height of cool was when he was in The Faces. Now he's doing music from the Great American Songbook? What? He's morphing into Barry Manilow I tells Ya!

Maybe when they pumped his stomach that time they accidentally pumped some of the cool out of him. I don't know. I'm not a Doct....I mean - I don't know.

So here's the Friday Send Off Song coming to you from Chester County, PA where it's a freezing 12 degrees. And this week's send off is dedicated to DMB, Wendy Brandes and Raf. Go check out their blogs and tell them who sent ye'. That would be me! Dr Zibbs.

I Swear I'm Not Researching Hookers. I Swear.

So I'm at the library the other day. It's about 6:30 and someone from my wife's book club approaches.

Book Club Lady: Oh my God Zibbs. Funny to see you here.

Me: Hey - how you doin'? Do you come to the West Chester library often?

Book Club Lady: Once in a while. I just dropped my son of at guitar lessons so I have about an hour to kill. What are you working? (She glances down at my laptop).

Me: No - I was. I'm finished now. I'm just goofin' off.

Book Club Lady: OK. Well see you later.

She walks away and I look down at the blog I had been reading*. The title of the blog that is now almost flashing like a neon sign reads.......

"HOOKERS ON PARADE"

Stupid! I wanted to yell, "I SWEAR I'M NOT RESEARCHING HOOKERS! I SWEAR...LOOK..IT'S JUST THE TITLE OF A BLOG!!" - but didn't.

*The blog I was reading was Catherinette's - but I forget the name of her blog so chime in if you know it.

Airplane Crashes Into Hudson River

A plane just went down in the Hudson River. Apparently caused by birds! Here's the CNN website for the news. I hope everyone is safe.

What Was The First Car You Bought? A Renault LeCar

What was the first car you bought? Was it a Renault LeCar? A gray one with a roof that opened?

Oh My GOD!!! That was my first car! It looked exactly like that ridiculous brown one pictured above but it was gray. And I'm not lying when I tell you that the previous owner added a tachometer to it. Sweet. Worthless but sweet....Well...sweet to laugh at. By others.

And you've got to see some of the LeCar's they have on the Wikipedia page here.

What are YOUR favorite stories about grey Renault LeCars. Go ahead - share them with us.

Weird Dreams, Dogs and Nipple Find

I just had another weird dream. I was doing stuff around my house and something was rubbing against my pants. Right below my belt.

So I pull my pants down a bit and there are two nipples that had grown on my pelvic area. So I run in a panic to show my wife and she calmly says, "I wouldn't worry about it, you know how dogs have multiple nipples? Maybe it's just some weird genetic thing and it's totally harmless."

What!!!!??????

Happy Birthday Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters

It's January 14. Who has a birthday today? The Fighter of Foo Dave Grohl. That's who. He was born in 1969.

To hear him rocking All My Life, click here.

I Wonder If Bloggers Would Pay Me For Advertising

So I told the blogger Tova Darling the other day I would write a post showing her Etsy stuff*. I like her and told her I would do it for free if she wanted. But it got me thinking that maybe I should reserve one spot on the sidebar for bloggers that want to promote something. Let's say it was Etsy products or Ebay stuff. Or someone just wanted to promote their blog or leave a big ass message on this life changing blog o'mine. Like a birthday message or marriage proposal for someone.

What do you think would be a fair price? $10 for a week? That's sounds fair to me. And I'm talking a big ole' spot like the size of H's condom covered fingers you see over to the right.

So..uh....does anyone want to promote anything?

*It's actually now on the sidebar of her site so check it out. And I don't want tons of freeloaders now coming out of the closet asking me to write posts about their stuff. Geeez. Have some respect. But if you do have stuff on Etsy feel free to leave a link in the comments because I would like to check it out. But please - no yarn and Popsicle stick art.

Look At That BBQ Header at the Top of My Blog. Bees!

So everyone is changing the layouts of their blogs these days. I just don't have the patience to do it right now so I simply added the picture you see above. It's an image of me barbecuing on my deck. I then realized there was a bee's nest under the grill. Using my catlike reflexes I screamed like a girl and ran inside to get my electric tennis racket bug swatter* - best invention ever - and went to town on the bees. They didn't stand a chance.

And on the subject of new blog layouts, two of my favorites are the blogs of Whiskey Marie and The Verdant Dude (aka B.E.Earl). I'm very, very jealous. I especially like how The Verdant Dude's blog has the options of tabs that let you have links to other blogs. And I'll add that these are two of my favorite blogs as well.

*Note that there are spikes hanging off of the electric tennis racket bug swatter. These show you that it's been used in many bee battles. They could easily poke out an eye but danger is my middle name. Well, actually "Screams Like a Girl" is my middle name. "Danger" is my Confirmation name.

Sham Wow Vs Head On - There's No Contest

When it comes to TV advertising spending I didn't think anyone would top HeadOn. That commercial was on non stop. And I don't know how they even sold one unit of HeadOn because they were never clear on what to do with it. Specifically, where should it be applied? Who would even know? Maybe I wasn't listening closely enough.

The Sham Wow* on the other hand is going places and I predict is going to be a product star. And why? Look at the smooth talk of Vince the Sham Wow guy. He's telling you where it's at. It's as simple as that. And I'm sure you ladies can agree that if this fellow approached you in a bar, you'd be putty in his hands. Yeah. Don't lie.



*They say to beware of imitators. So....I'm just warning you. And damn it..where was the Sham Wow during hurricane Katrina? If my calculations are correct, they could have cleaned up that New Orleans mess with about 10 Sham Wows. Damn you slow development cycles!

What's The Deal With Rumer Willis?

Can someone tell me what's the deal with Rumer Willis? I know her parents are Demi Moore and Bruce Willis but is there anyone who finds her the least bit appealing? If you look here on IMDB you'll see that she's pretty much done nothing. But she shows up on award shows and magazines...

And the looks? She was voted one of the most beautiful people? What?

Now, I'm not asking people to hurl fruit at her when they see here but damn it, someone need to get to to the bottom of this.

Bacon Is Everywhere You Look Online

Everywhere you look online you see bacon. I'm not complaining - I'm just pointing it out. On my blogger friend MJenk's blog Crown of Thistles today he's got a great post about bacon. There are bacon products on my sidebar THAT YOU CAN BUY. And I'm sure right now in a store there are people actually buying real bacon. Right now!

With all of this bacon mania, I have a question. Do you think someone, somewhere loves bacon so much they made out with it? Like actually pulled their shades down then put two strips together to look like lips and had a make out session with the bacon? I bet they did.

Man. You people are sick.

One of My Favorite Loony Tunes Characters - Gossamer

One of the coolest things I got to do when I was in product development was watch cartoons. I was developing a line of Loony Tunes characters so a few times a week I'd wheel a TV into my office and watch Loony Tunes in search of poses for characters. I used to love passing the purchasing department and rub it in my saying, "Time to get to work."

Gossamer, although he was only in a few shorts, has always been a favorite of mine. Not because he had the best performances, but just because of his looks. Kind of like when you see a big nerdy fat guy that thinks he's tough and he's wearing a fanny pack and a shirt that says, "Looks Like Trouble" or "Heaven Don't Want Me And Hell's Afraid I'll Take Over". You just have to laugh (after pointing).

My other top Warner Brothers cartoon picks are Bugs, Daffy and Foghorn Leghorn.

My least favorite is Taz . It's not the actual character I hate, it's all of the douchebags that wear the Taz shirts, put the stickers on their trucks, etc. because they see themselves as having Tazmanian Devil traits. Real original.

Breaking News! Portuguese Water Hound May Be In White House

So the term Portuguese Water Hound is the number one search term in Google Trends right now. Do you know why? Because it may be the dog that the Obama family picks to be their new dog. It's between the Portuguese Water Hound and a Labradoodle.

Jesus Christ. I can't believe that is the top Google Search! People sure do have a lot of time on their hands. And the more time people waste reading nonsense, the less time they have to read my amazing gems. So to save you time, here are a few search terms in the top 100:

Half Smoke
American Pie Band Camp
2010 Ford Taurus
Desert Botanical Garden
Barefoot Contessa
Peanut Butter recall
The Karate Kid
Uvula
Fun Foil Art
Farmhouse Movie

Now get back to reading my blog.

Mr Show Season Three Is Some Funny Sketch Comedy

So I bought Mr Show Season 3 with a Best Buy gift card I had and it's hysterical. I haven't seen some of these comedy sketches in a few years. They're still hysterical. This one is about a group called Indomitable Spirit. They're a group of people with missing limbs. You've go to see. it. Click here.

Eagles vs Giants - Another Prediction From West Chester PA

So I was pretty close with my prediction last week of the Eagles Vikings game. I will now tell you the score of the Eagles Giants game today. The score shall be 16 - 14. The Eagles will win.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go to Wawa to pick up some coleslaw. The slaw will be topping the pulled pork sandwiches I'll be inhaling during the game. Go Eagles!

M.I.A Paper Airplanes I Love This Friggin' Song

Here's a song by M.I.A. called Paper Airplanes that's been out for a while. It's used in Slumdog Millionaire. You know, the movie I was telling you to see. Never has the combination of a cash register and a gun been used in a song so effectively. Well, it's was pretty cool in Pink Floyd's "Money" but there was no gun.

And did you know that this song sampled "Straight to Hell" by the Clash. It's true. Click on that link and see.

Let me know if you like it. I'm not crazy about the video but the song is really cool. Like me.

Sausage Sandwich Recipe Is So Simple It's Retarded

Mmmm. Here's a sausage sandwich I made. Here's the simple recipe:

Ingredients
Sausage (hot or mild)
olive oil
pepper
salt
garlic powder
onions
hot peppers
American Cheese
long roll

OK, this is so simple that anyone can make it.

- Saute onion in olive oil, then garlic. Add salt and, pepper and garlic powder. Remove from pan.
- Cook sausage in same pan until outside is brown.
- Before hand, broil long, hot peppers under broiler until skins are black. Place in paper bag for 15 minutes to steam then remove skins.
- Place American cheese on long roll and broil until cheese is slightly melted.
- Put sausage, onions, garlic and peppers on roll.
- Add Tabasco or horseradish if you please.

Enjoy.

Random Gran Torino Inspired Money Making Scheme

I just remembered that when I saw Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino the other week that when I came out of the theater I was teary eyed. I was a bit panicked because it hit me that if I ran into someone that I hadn't seen in a while I'd be too ashamed to admit why I was crying.

Person: Zibbs, what are you doing here..wait....are you crying?

Me: Um. No..I mean......yeah.

Person: Ha. What movie are you coming from? Marley and Me*? Bride Wars? Don't tell me it was Bride Wars!

Me: I don't know you jackass. I was too concerned trying to revive my dad. He was an usher and he just died. He was in theater #5 right over there. I gotta go. I gotta tell my mom.

So the money making scheme that I mentioned in the title of the post is waiting outside of theaters and photographing people then telling them I want $20 or their cry baby face will be plastered all over the world wide web of the Internets. Does anyone want to get in on the ground floor of this sure fire business? If so, let me know how much seed money you're willing to front.

*And if you want to see a post I wrote about the filming of Marley and Me right here in downtown West Chester, PA -click here. I haven't seen the movie but the West Chester scenes are at the beginning when it's snowing then later when they go to the vet.

Norah Jones Little WIllies - I Love This Group

I love Norah Jones. She one of my favorite female voices of all time. If you haven't heard of The Little Willies, it's another group she's in with a bunch of her friends. I love every song on the album - which is rare. It's one of the albums I like to listen to on my ipod while lying in bed.

And like her other albums, it produced in a way that is perfect for listening to with headphones. Her voice is so smooth it just turns me to mush. Here she is performing live at The Living Room in NYC.

And this Friday send off song is dedicated to Greta, Morgan the Muse and Susan. Go check out their blogs and tell them Dr Zibbs sent you.

Freida Pinto From Slumdog Millionaire. Nice

This has been one of the worst years for movies that I can remember. 2008 I'm talking about. I did see a great one the other week called Slumdog Millionaire. It's about a guy who wins the Indian Version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The story is mostly a flashback about how he was able to know all of the answers due to various events as a poor orphan growing up in India. Trust me. It's a great film.

And if you want to see one of the most beautiful actresses, look at that picture of Freida Pinto. She's drop dead, why are my trousers getting tighter gorgeous! This is her first movie and I'm predicting she's going to be a star. You heard it here. Here's her bio page.

Another great movie that's out is Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood.

Elvis and Ann Margaret - Viva Las Vegas

Happy Birthday King. Here's one from Viva Las Vegas with Elvis and the sexy redhead Ann Margaret. Man she just oozes sexy. When was the last time you saw this clip? And is that a bit of tap dancing I see Elvis doing at 1:17?

Also, check out the getup on Ann Margaret. She must like that "outfit" because I swear she's wearing the same thing in Bye Bye Birdie. If this video doesn't get you going - nothing will.

Today - January 8 - Is My Birthday

Today is my birthday. Click here to see who was born and who died on January 8. This is a post I wrote last year. Note that there are only 2 comments. And one is from me! What a loser. Man this blog has come a long way in one year.

Dangling Naked Skier Will Never Live This Down. Ever

So I'm sure everyone's heard about the skier in Vail yesterday that was stuck on the ski lift dangling upside down by his pants. Bare. Could you imagine the reality of how embarrassing this is for the dude? Imagine his first day back to work. You know HR had a meeting to tell everyone that, "What happened is NOT funny and nobody is to discuss this situation with Bob. Are we clear?"

I thought that shitting your pants in a meeting would be the pinnacle of embarrassment but this just might be worse. What? I never shit my pants in a meeting...... I'm just sayin'.

And then you've got people making videos like this:



And on a footnote, he was there with his son!

Mmmmm. Reese's Big Cup Hits The Spot

I probably eat one or two candy bars a week. If I'm in Wawa and I'm in the mood I'll pick one up. The only candy bars I ever buy are Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, Snickers, Hershey's with almonds or Peanut M&M's.

Well add this new one to the list: The Reese's Big Cup. It fills me up more than the regular size and and I don't want to look like slob and buy the four packs. I hereby endorse this product.

The only thing that would make this day better is if I could see a Reeses commercial starring Robby Benson and Don Most (aka Ralph Malph) and it was filmed by someone holding a camera up to a crappy TV. Wait a minute. I can...right here.