Man Clutches Heart At Exton Kmart

So I had to take the dreaded trip to the Exton Kmart the other day to look for some lettuce seeds and I pass this Halloween thing pictured above. I'm looking at it and all of a sudden - and I mean all of a sudden it starts to move and the hands pick the head up out of it's neck socket. It then says something like, "I believe I'm losing my head" or something stupid like that.

Well, it completely catches me off guard and I kind of jump because the sudden movement and sound scared me in the wastelands of the Exton Kmart. I can't remember if I vocalized a mini scream, "ahhh" or not. All I know, just like when you trip and you have to look to see if anyone saw you, I turn around and this old dude is looking at me. I felt like saying,

"Listen old timer. I'm not afraid of this cheese ball monster. Something could have fallen off of the shelf and I would have jumped. I thought I was alone in the home and garden section OK? The sound startled me. That's it! You believe me..right?"

I picture the guy meeting up with his wife later in the store.

Old Lady: Did you find the rope Harry?

Old Man: Yeah I got the rope. And I saw one of those fags too.

Old Lady: A homosexual? In Kmart?

Old Man: Must of been one. He sees a scary trick or treat prop and he almost pissed his pants he was so afraid. And he screeched like a girl. But he was clearly a man.

Old Lady: Oh yeah. That was probably a gay.